Five sore PAX and and FNG gathered in the gloom this morning to douse themselves in bug spray and uncover the “great plans” YHC had sneakily advertised the night before. After a warmup of the usual with some added hillbillies, mountain climbers, and requested grass grabbers to work out the soreness, YHC led a mosey to the start of Rich Man’s Loop (phone in hand).
Thang 1: What’s in a Name?
Today, Catholics celebrate the feast of the Holy Name of Mary, a chance to rejoice in the ways God showers blessings on those whom He chooses to take part in His saving work on earth. Mostly as a way to get a good many sprints in, YHC had a list of the many titles that have been given to Mary over the centuries, and the PAX had to fill in the blanks correctly or sprint to the next light post. If they got it right, it was only a mosey. YHC knew that Cardinal was on vacation, so the chances of success were low, but the PAX did surprisingly well, even those who didn’t grow up Catholic, so it really didn’t get rough until the last few posts. Yet another example of how imminent pain will jog even the most remote corners of the memory.
Thang 2: More Enculturation
In a repeat of last week’s structure, YHC introduced two more songs to the uncultured PAX. The first was another Irish shanty, this time about chemical plant workers, “The Chemical Workers Song,” by Great Big Sea. Plank for the duration, and merkins for every “Go”.
The second was yet another ridiculous spoof (to follow last week’s “I Wanna Marry the Troops”), this time reaching back to some of the roots of spoof in the 70’s–we went with “Happy Boy” by the Beat Farmers, an absolutely ridiculous song that may have later set the tone for Weird Al’s career. Six-inch hold for the duration with knee tucks on every “Happy Boy”.
Thang 2: F3 Poker
While the PAX recovered from the brain numbing song, YHC retrieved the Deck of Death and then dealt 5 cards to each PAX. 2’s and Jokers were wild, which meant Paradox held four Jacks (including two Jokers), so his hand dictated the next 15 minutes or so of exercises. YHC decided to allow each of the Jokers to be something a little out there, so the first was 10 power merkins (partners perpendicular with partner 1’s feet on partner 2’s back). Both completed 10 merkins in unison then flapjacked.
For the second Joker, YHC pulled out an old favorite, the Tunnel of Love. We were shocked when Paradox said he’d never done it–YHC assumed the FNG and maybe Montana would get a kick of doing it for the first time, but surely Paradox had done it before. But, his lack of experience was proven when, as YHC was recovering after all PAX had passed through the tunnel, he tried to go through again, only to receive a solid knee to the temple, UFC style. The sickening smack silenced the PAX for a brief moment, and then Goats instinctively popped up the concussion tent and asked him what his wife’s middle name was. He didn’t know, but he assured us that he’s a medical professional, he spent 10 years in school, his wife’s a doctor too, and he’s fine. So, on to the second hand.
Goats blew away the competition with a royal straight, which started us with 25 burpees–a nice touch after the Iron Pax Challenge just a couple of days ago. YHC doesn’t remember much about what followed, just that 6:15 couldn’t get there fast enough. It did get there, though, before we could finish the hand, so all promised to do 25 dips in the car on the way home.
Name-off (welcome Lil’ Cuz! Heck of a first workout!!), COT, and Goats prayed us out.
It’s an honor to be part of such an awesome group of men.
SYITG,
Goose
