YHC pulled up to Lumen Christi this morning to a crowded hill crest–Cardinal brought three FNG’s who were excitedly awaiting the flag planting, and, I think, expecting that they’d probably be able to outperform Cardinal and whatever other old guys who might show up (ha!). The three young’uns are two seminarians and one prospective seminarian, and they certainly showed some interior fortitude this morning by sticking with it the whole time with smiles on their (sweating, dirty) faces.
Warmup: side straddle hops, windmills, arm circles, cherry pickers, imperial walkers, self-love, and 50 Moroccan Night Clubs IC (waiting for Paradiddle to join–it took a while).
Thang 1: Lieutentant Dans
I had to ask the young PAX (only Picadilly is as old as YHC) if they knew who Lt. Dan was. Thankfully, these fellas are cultured, and they were able to pull out the famous quote immediately (“Lt. Dan, you ain’t got no legs.”)
We moseyed to the bench by the small pond, and starting there, moved toward the last bench on the shore of the big lake using the following mode of transportation: 1 squat to 2 lunge walk steps (2 squats, 4 lunge steps, 3 squats, 6 lunge steps, etc.). It felt successful given the sincere statements of hatred directed toward YHC as we neared the finish line.
Thang 2: Bench Work
Gave the legs a break as we squeezed seven medium to large men onto three benches for two sets of 20 freak nasties, 15 irkins, 10 derkins. The form on the dips may have been compromised a bit for the FNG threesome due to the formidable wingspan of the soon to be Uncle Rico.
Thang 3: F3 Poker
Figured we’d give the Houma guys a taste of the official F3 Deck of Death–the more we can connect them to the bigger picture of F3, the better! So, YHC dealt 5-card stud, and the winning hand was the workout set for the whole PAX. Got through two hands, and was able to introduce them to Monkey Humpers, Smurf jacks, Chuck Norris merkins, Ranger Merkins, and what 100 side-straddle-hops feel like after doing Lt. Dans.
For the second of two hands (both won by Picadilly, interestingly), Jokers and Dueces were wild, and the winner included a Joker, which YHC explained should be assigned a ridiculous exercise. So, we ascended the hill via crawl bear (backward bear crawl). The key was to keep the flag in sight between your legs so you don’t veer off, take small steps, and pretend you’re anywhere else but crawling backward up a hill.
Finished with enough time for some solid Mary: Crunchy Frogs, leg raises, and wife pleasers (since they had been mentioned before as the second most dignified exercise, monkey humpers being number one).
Count off, name off, and we provided new identities to Donut Day, Econoline, and Uncle Rico–welcome fellas! These guys did a great job pushing themselves for their first beatdown, and we’re looking forward to what God has in store for them!
See You In the Gloom,
Goose
