YHC was excited about the potential for record breaking numbers at the Houma location, Lumen Christi, including a unique FNG: priest #2 for the Bayou PAX! (Fr. J.D. Matherne, pastor of St. Hilary in Raceland will heretofore be known as Cutthroat!). However, at 5:45am, with what sounded like a Category 3 outside the house, YHC was scheming hard about how to boost morale in the howling wind, the pounding deluge of rain, and lightning popping all around. I knew that with this relatively new crew, we couldn’t break one of the major principles of F3 this early in the game, so gear was donned and prayers were said as YHC prepped to walk out into this mother of a storm.
Thankfully, things changed quickly, and not only did the rain let up, but the sky cleared and revealed a gorgeous sky (and eventually a full rainbow!). Even the ground was relatively dry (besides some slick patches of clover, which left some PAX eating turf when bear crawling down the hill). Morale was extremely high with little to no effort as the PAX continued pouring in for this young location. Ultimately, there were 8, a record, and the warmup commenced:
Warmup: all IC–20 Side Straddle Hops, 20 WindMills, 15 Arm Circles (each way), 15 Moroccan Night Clubs (shimmy included), 20 Self-Love, 20 Imperial Walkers, 10 High Knees, 10 Butt Kicks
Thang 1: Dora 1, 2, 3
YHC wanted to make sure these guys get some solid experience of the classics, so we started with a standard partner Dora wherein partners split 100 Hand Release Merkins, 200 Apolo Ohno’s, and 300 American Hammers. For the first 100, partner 2 ran backward up the hill (Nur) and forward back down. For the second, it was run up and bear crawl down (clover is slick!); and for the third, crab walk up and run down.
At first, YHC inadvertently looked pretty smart to Enron and a few others knowing Ohno’s middle name, but then Cutthroat ruined it by revealing that for a decade, everyone only ever heard all three names (Apolo Anton Ohno). But, YHC turned the tables in the next Thang (Cutthroat, you don’t know NOTHIN’!!)
Thang 2: Double Song Power!
Moseyed to the hill with the cross and pulled out “Flower” by Moby–hold Al Gore for every “Sally down,” and only come up for every “Sally up”. It’s a thigh burner, and a favorite of YHC, especially for new guys–an added element is that if they can guess the lyrics, we stop. They never do. FNG hopes are dashed on the rocks of ignorance, and it’s nobody’s fault but their own.
Song 2: Chumbaburpee! Another favorite since it’s one of the rare times that burpees are a yearned for break from something unexpectedly worse. Side straddle hops for the duration of the song, and burpees for every “I get knocked down, but I get up again.” Side straddle hops for that long are pretty torturous at the end of a long workout, so flopping down to the ground almost feels good. Except at the end (20 burpees in a row).
Classic Indian Run back to the flag for some Mary: in an effort to continue to grow the PAX’s knowledge of the Exicon, everything with a ridiculous name gets priority. All IC x15: Crunchy Frogs, LBC’s, Wife Pleasers, J-Lo’s.
COT and Elmer’s prayed us out. Welcome, Cutthroat, and thanks be to God for a gorgeous morning and a great group of men!
See You in the Gloom,
Goose
