On Friday afternoon, as my thoughts strayed from work, and found their way to my F3 brothers, I noted Bushwhacker’s bat signal that the Lakefront had no Q for the following day. Unacceptable! I leapt at the opportunity to lead such finely honed machines and volunteered to take the proverbial bull by the horns.
Later that Friday evening, as Bushwhacker destroyed me in Pickleball while local pros Chewy and Nacho gave YHC pity looks, we discussed the following morning’s beatdown. Shortly thereafter, Zoolander texted to inquire if the beatdown would be “burpee heavy”, as he was already 2 scotches in. Apparently YHC’s reputation for continual, repeated, full body movement exercises is well-established because he later assured me he cut himself off at 5, though I thought I detected a faint Highlands brogue in his speech.
Anyway, 15 strong, including FNGs (Xerxes and Snapper) posted. And away we go…
Warm Up:
SSH x 15
Butt Kicks x 10
Cherry Pickers x 10
Arm Circles x 10
I think one more exercise…
Thang:
Mosey towards the beach, stop at Noah’s Ark for 15 Derkins, 15 Irkins oyo…then continue to the beach for…the most intense Battle of the Poles since Jaworski and Bartowski faced off in the early 80s.
We split into teams of 2, though this was an individual exercise. To quote those motivational sages of Rocky lore, Survivor, “Its you against you”, and “though his body says stop, his spirit cries, NEVER!”
The Main Event:
Descending ladder of 8 count body builders. YHC did this once in my spare time and hated it, so I knew others would feel likewise. It goes like this — Each 8 count bodybuilder consists of merkin, plank jack, and groiner movements, so we began descending rounds from 10 to 1.
Round 1: 10 bodybuilders (Each bodybuilder required 10 reps each of merkins/plank jack/groiners). Thus, to complete this round, one would have done 100 of each movement (10×10).
Good news: Each round descended by one not only in bodybuilders, but also reps of each movement, thus:
Round 2: 9 BBs (9 of each movement per rep = 81 each of Merks/PJ/Groiners)
Round 3: 8 BBs (64 merks/PJ/Groiners)
Round 3: 7 BBs (49 each)
…you get the picture. By the Round of 5, it was actually quite refreshing.
For those that finished, like Sir Whacker, I believe that translated to 387 reps of each movement. (check my math)
Between each round, we ran about 50 yards to tag a swingset pole and run back.
We called it about 7:23, and did an Indian Run back to the flag. Said Pledge of Allegiance, and moved our minds and hearts upon the heroic men and women who gave it all so we have the luxury to recreationally torture ourselves. Though best known for one of the most annoying earworms of the early 90s, Billy Ray Cyrus got it right in his song “Some Gave All”:
“All gave some, but some gave all. Some stood true for the red, white, and blue, and some had to fall. If you ever think of me, think of all your liberty and recall…some gave all”
YHC prayed us out, lifting up brothers Hog’s Breath, Jose, and welcoming FNGs Xerxes and Snapper. Welcome guys!
Thanks for letting me lead. It is always a privilege. God Bless!
