With apologies to 86 for posting this backblast after his awesome V Q, YHC couldn’t wait any longer because that unrepentant, recalcitrant, inveterate fartsacker Shorty (and, no, that doesn’t mean you’re entrained to The Rebels) is talking way too much smack to stay silent. I don’t have the patience of 86.
So after a terse but complete disclaimer, 86 was off for a long mosey without a word. With the obvious reminder that My Deed Is My Word, 86 would lead by example. We circled up at the Alley of Death for some suicides. The instructions were recited once. [Lesson One: you need to listen to others, it’s not about you.] Mosey to first lamp post for 5 burpees and return for 10 V-Ups; mosey to 2d for 5 more burpees and return for 10 more V-Ups; same to third lamp post; and same to the fourth.
After a call for a 15 count from Roots, a single call for an Indian Run to the row station. Again, the instructions were recited once. [Lesson Two: see lesson one.] Break into four groups: 20 Merkins for the count, Side Lunges AMRAP, Mission Impossible til the Merkers say recover, and Inverted Rows AMRAP.
Mosey to the shelter by the band stand for another split into four groups. Again, one recitation of instructions. [Lesson Three: if you didn’t get Lesson One or Two, you’re hopeless.] 15 Derkins for the count, Dips AMRAP (which for YHC ended up being about 12), Steps Ups AMRAP, and Single Left High Lifts (switching legs every 5) AMRAP (which for YHC ended up being about 6-7). After a single call for a 20 count from C-Man(?), a single call to Rinse and Repeat.
“Let’s Mosey.” Ended up being way shorter than YHC was fearing: only to the bollards just outside the shelter. [For those who’ve skipped The Birdcage too many times or have been there but never listened to the engineers in the PAX, the bollards are those thick posts jammed into the ground.] The tease was all the more cruel because the next round was two or three levels below Dante’s Ninth Level of Hell: more suicides with the five lamp posts up the Alley of Death. The instructions were terse and simple: at each lamp post, five sets of a single pair of shoulder taps in plank, bring hands back to feet and hop up; at the bollards, ten jump squats. Again, a single recitation of the instructions. [Lesson Four: Listen well, and don’t assume that it will be easy, because this was probably the toughest DownPAINment in months: sorry, Hawg and Bubba; don’t even think you’ve been close, Rudy.]
YHC assumes there was another call to Mosey, but perhaps not. Anyway, another Indian Run mosey around the track to some location that YHC couldn’t discern as being any different from anywhere else. The instructions from there were as short and clear as all the rest: slow mosey past two stencils in the road (the outline of the guy running with arrows in both directions), and then haul ass (YHC’s words; I think 86 simply said run) to the third stencil; and repeat a second time to end up back at the Flag (which in fact was not virtual, but in fact real this time, courtesy of YHC because he knew that the uptowners can’t be relied on in this regard; their flag producing abilities resemble Shorty’s posting abilities).
End with some planks. It went like this. “Regular Plank.” Silence for an indeterminately long period. “Put your right hand behind your back.” Again, silence for an indeterminately long period. “Regular Plank, again.” The third word took YHC by surprise: it seemed so surprisingly effusive, but 86 is after all a chef in New Orleans: he certainly is well versed in the sparing use of lagniappe to make the surprise an integral part of The Experience. Anyway, silence again for another indeterminately long period. “Put your left hand behind your back.” Yep, more indeterminately long silence. “Recover.” That was it.
Thank God we were done. This was more Pain Per Syllable than I thought humanly possible. Mumble Chatter is easy, but the required use of listening ears throughout the Pain is a challenge. Today was another good reminder that we gain wisdom, insight and strength by listening, not by idle chatter. [I did overhear 86 comment at the end that we didn’t do any COPs because he doesn’t like to count: yeah, that’s what all yogis say.] After a Count-Off and Name-O-Rama, a prayer of thanksgiving for the holidays and new year. Thanks, 86, for a great Q.
Jingle Vader
Sounds delightful. And sounds like there’s a challenge in there for me…. Back to the drawing board for this Saturday.