What comes to mind when you think of the absolute cutting edge of human performance? Ultra marathons, Saturdiddles, special ops training, Cardinal crab walking … I’m talking the outer limits of human capabilities here. Well men I have a new challenging feat of strength to add to this pantheon of greatness. A rigorous 5 day crucible that tests the mind, body, spirit, and even Rouses endless supply of 100% juice capri suns.
Some only live through it to tell the tale…
That’s how I found myself shoulder to shoulder with Econoline this week at 8:15am on a casual Tuesday in the Chackbay Catholic center, awaiting our first rotation of children.
There we stood at the game station like 2 young hobbits awaiting 10,000 orcs at Helms deep. (Jk jk your children are all angels )
It was about to begin…
The great battle of our time..
Being group leaders at…
VACATION BIBLE SCHOOL
Duke put down that snack pack and roll the footage . It’s VBS week!
Warmup
The usuals with spikes of chatter with Tanas gigi arrival and Gooses wearing a crosscut necklace of cloth but mostly silent focus on preserving precious oxygen with furtive glances at YHCs entire cone collection in the big field being guarded by BAPs. Sooooon….
To kickoff the shenanigans YHC explained the similarities between VBS stations and F3 and that we would train as group leaders today to get a taste of the action.
Opening ceremony
Needs to be high energy , get the blood pumping but also you need to run full speed backwards because you forgot your 2.0 shoes and he has not a care in the world of being barefoot in public.
Indian run around the big loop with Nur to the front to take us to the Chimney.
Game Station #1
Hula Hoop Relay race
Break into 3 teams
1 team mate does hula hop to and around cone
Rest of Team does 4 merkins, 4 sqats , 4 SSH , 4 BBSU (4x4x4x4 (tM)
Until all complete and must slide the hula hoop down the line.
Enron clearly ignored the PDF and instructional video YHC sent him about the 4x4x4x4 and he still had questions. Ya hate to see that from the self proclaimed smartest man in the room.
In the end Team Goose took the title and gifted the losers with 25 monkey humpers, in an unrelated note we now cannot go within 100 feet of the St Joe carpool pickup line.
To the tennis court
Every great VBS must have catchy songs that get implanted into your brain and this week we talked with the kids a lot about listening to God for your call…
Music Station #1
“Call me maybe” by Carly Rae Jepsen
1 Merkin on “maybe” and “baby “
Holding plank in a circle of pax and Pass the Hula Hoop with hands and feet.
if it’s on you during call me maybe then you do 3 merkins.
The pax got pretty good at passing that hula at lightning speed and WetTap has even adopted this as his on call theme song.
Arts and Crafts Station #1
Another vital part of VBS is a crafting station and no craft session is complete without rock paper and scissors. Pax paired up for escalating rounds of Rochamburpee with 2 more burpees for the loser each round till we reached 12. Not sure how everyone faired here but it seemed like burpees were enjoyed by all.
Mosey to the Thunder dome
Music Station #2
Over the past 2 years selecting “F3 songs” has become a cherished pastime at YHCs house. There’s no definitive criteria but you know a really good one when you hear it. YHC recently stumbled upon the #SWT (Ronnie would later figure out this was Songs With Triggers) channel of f3 slack and uncovered an absolute gem.
I needed a song to represent this weeks teaching of finding a quiet place to pray and it just so happened that Dean Summerwind had provided directions to a quiet lake where we could park just 80 miles from Santa Fe.
“Parked by the Lake “
Dean Summerwind
Hold Al Gore with
Bonnie Blair’s on “Parked”
Tin Soldiers on “Santa Fe”
Squats on “Lake”
I hope it met Popeyes high expectations. It will be added to my F3 Song Hall of Fame as Diddle proclaimed it both right and just.
Game Station #2
Duck- Duck Goose
Pax plank up in a circle facing outward. One pax selects a “Goose” by running around and tapping them on the head while the pax knock out plank related exercises (Merkin, plank jacks, MCs)
The real honker himself got us started and we had Some close battles here with the Dawson 2.0s showing some serious evasive maneuvers.
Arts and craft Station #2
– color our ABCs
PAX on our six with legs up to spell out VACATION BIBLE SCHOOOL (those Os are just too fun)
Mosey to big field and as we turned the corner BAPS was seen and one pax yelled “is Jeaux here?”
A simple question but it nearly derailed me as I couldn’t shake the image of YJ crouched in his van with binoculars and 1980s spy equipment writing down notes and mumbling “I knew it” .
I composed myself and we arrived safely at the Grand Finale.
Every VBS ends with a grand finale Friday where you showcase everything you learned through the week. So YHC unveiled the ultimate VBS obstacle course
We split into two teams started some SSH and each team let one pax into the race at a time until they got to the minefield.
BAPS provided “the final countdown” and We raced through..
1. Dizzy bat
2. Lunges
3. Merkin minefield with CrawlBears (5 merkins if you knock down a cone)
4. Broad jump burpees
5. Suicide Trifecta (Nur, Run, Carioca)
We grabbed our ever growing pile of gear and moseyed back to the flag for people’s choice Mary to represent your kids showing you all the stuff they learned during the week.
Dr Ws, Penguins, Fred Merk, fire hydrants , WW1 sit-ups with Yote till the buzzer.
Count o Rama, NamoRama
GiGi found a new home with Ronnie and the Animal went back to the Goose nest with concerns that Crosscut was on his last microfiber.
COT with continued prayers for the St Pierre family
Goose prayed us out
NMM
YHC has a special place in his heart for VBS. Growing up it was always the mark of deep summer and where the seeds of my faith were first planted. (It’s where I picked up a love for relay races and obstacle courses!)
It’s also a great reminder to me to search for simple yet profound truths and to strive for a childlike faith. Grateful for the men of F3 as we help each other walk a straighter path.
PPS (Pickleteria PostScript) sponsored by Joola
Following the beatdown several Pax gathered at the thunderDome for the first ever Pickleteria . Tana and Dilly graciously provided the pickleGear and all the fixings for Americas fastest growing game. In a thrilling opening match Team Dawson narrowly took down Threat Level Midnight 11-2. Acting manager of TLM Ronnie Lillich was optimistic for the teams growth during the post match interview: “Dox has a floppy wrist, plain and simple,I was carrying him. His mind was boggled about the kitchen and he lost his composure”. Sounds like TLM is going through a “rebuilding year” but a lot of league experts say Dox had a dollar store paddle. Ya hate to pickle with that.
Well , It’s safe to say that the pickle fever has spread rapidly and the only question left is ..same time next week?
SYITG
Dox
