Whether you call it Twixmas, Feral Week, or the official week of the automated email , the window of December 25th-January 1 is a great period for quality family time , limited use of pants, and for ignoring nutritional facts. (Even if your Payday has 7g of protein).
Naturally paired with this season is a look back on the good, bad and ugly of your previous year. And that’s where we’ll start as YHC also needs to issue this backblast as a mea culpa for several missed blasts through the year. Swept up in the undertow of work and diapers were more than a few half written works that just didn’t seem to have enough bowel movements in the day to finish.
Of course I could pile the excuses higher than the pampers tower in YHCs garage but the burden remains and if the men of F3 thib have taught me anything then it’s how to get back up when the tubs of life truly starts thumping you down. Ergo, we must trudge forth! Like Pliny the Younger providing the only account of Vesuvius, who would tell ABs grandkids about the Christmas miracle ?
Or like Aristodemus, spared from the final battle of Thermopylae to document those slain, someone must record the heroes of Danger Valve Mondays. Concordantly, this document is my 2024 last stand. To prevail against the waves of procrastination, flares of irritable bowels and all other reasons YHCs blasts went to Apple notes purgatory this year.
Objectives for this beatdown/blast were ambitious. YHC needed to recognize a tremendous year from our pax and highlight a few glossed over diamonds in the tuff, and to do it all in one big greasy beatdown/blast omelette. You won’t even need mushrooms and salsa to stomach this egg vehicle Senor Mitchell. This behemoth is chocked full of the events, schisms, airport flatulence, franchises, hoosker do’s, hoosker don’ts , 17 different light rock alternatives, wearables, whistling kitty chasers and all of those secret sauces of 2024 F3 Thib that make this group of uncultured hooligans my valued brothers.
Duke!!
It’s the Year in Review !!
Roll that beautiful footage pup.
10 Tuesday Tuffians were mostly assembled as YHC arrived in a thicc gloom with near perfect beatdown weather. Cool enough for sans mosquitoes but not so chilly that a spray paint crop top would make you uncomfortable ya know, and YHC did know.
Standard issue warmups with the ever growing detestable schism of slow knee heretics blatantly disregarding the call for “high knees” and instead doing the invasive species “slow high knees”. Like a useless pond grass the south port variant continues its spread, choking the life from more useful warms ups in our precious ecosystem. It’s a slippery slope to power walking fellas, it’s all I’m trying to say. Next it’s “there’s no jump on the burpee” then “Shakira shimmies” for merkins. Before long, once the estrogen levels get high enough, we’ll have a bear problem….(see anchorman et al 2004) …(and look this beatdown needed atleast one bah humbug or I couldn’t maintain the Dickens vibe ok)
YHC persevered through the mutiny and Wet Tap reduced the tension by reminiscing of misspent youth in Lafayette night clubs. We put a Bumper Mosey bow on it and it was show time.
YHC wanted to recap the year and one theme seemed recurrent and prominent in my reflections on 2024. Through the joys, sorrows, and everyday grind, in the ups and downs of family life , the sick 2.0s, the injuries , the beauty of new life and pain of lost loved ones. In all those things, God was, is and wants to be truly with us.
YHC will now attempt to go full Jacob Marley as we fly through 2024 and see the beatdowns of past, present and future.
In January God was with us in the known and unknown.
On 1/7/24 Americas Best sparked a trivia revolution with his bd “everybody’s an expert”. YHC remembers running rich man’s loop as he asked us a deep question: “what is one category we know better than the rest”. YHC thought it was a prank and initially answered something like “statefair corndogs” only to realize the remaining pax all gave real heartfelt answers. Finally Cardinal, in his wisdom, suggested a chance I might know antibiotics. How thoughtful.
When we returned to the stage AB weaponized our strengths (and Pride) against us to reinforce a very cool fact. We all kinda know 1-2 things really well but clearly there’s a vast ocean of facts out there we can humbly claim ignorance to and enjoy the process of learning.
So to honor this amazing gift we unveiled …
Rapid Fire AB trivia
Correct – 7 coupon plank jacks
Incorrect 7 coupon merks
#1
If yogurt and sweet potato had a baby they might produce ABs favorite traditional Polynesian food made from the Taro root.
(Poi)
Honeysuckle remembered the runny 3 finger poi as his favorite blend.
#
2ABs least favorite breakfast food- (omelette)
Pope with the immediate answer.
#3
When AB first moved to Thibodaux his first job as an optometrist made him smell like fresh Tires. Where was that job? (Sam’s Club)
Goose struggled with this one a bit but battled to produce Walmart which YHC awarded half credit. This is a great Goosian trait we see on display many beatdowns, if he doesn’t immediately have an answer then a rabid bloodhound is unleashed in his brain searching accurate guesses. Something’s very right with his medulla oblongata.
#4
AB has a dog named after the main character in this 1994 classic movie. (Shawshank redemption- Andy Dufrene)
The group produced both Shawshank and Dufrene.
Now it was only fair by the writ of habeas corpus that AB get a swing at the pax during his own trial so YHC prepped him the night before to bring a fast ball.
The Pax produced some fine “Most common wrongs” but could not land on “Time Dilation” as the answer. Great teaser trailer for the 2025 Interstellar beatdown.
Grand Finale
On a special night during ABs childhood , in the room he shared with his brother Jeff , AB released flatus so vile that Jeff had to leave the room. When he returned the next morning somehow the smell had gotten much worse. This is event is now known as what?
(The Christmas miracle)
Again Goose was flexing his Dawkins trophy by guessing Napalm. Although it was incorrect, I hereby place it #2 on the list of potential FNG names. (Just behind Texaco Cat of course)
Shoutout to This first hand account added by none other than Jeff Mitchell, who claims his smell never fully recovered.
AB thank you for the gift of trivia this year. We are proud to call you our Llama Mama.
In February God was with us on the run.
2/17/24
“It’s Only A Mile”
We recognized two major memories from this awesome day and what is hoped to be a Thibodaux staple event.
The first was Coach Goose. Anyone who ran more than a lap that day was aided by the one part field general/one part friend that provided stalwart support until the end.
We also unknowingly picked up our Rookie of the Year, White Meat.
Maybe it was the movie references or perhaps the pastalaya but he was there at the stage the following Monday rattling off Big Lebowski quotes like a pax veteran. We missed the mark on not naming this man Double Toilet but it’s been great getting to know the Meat and see him rapidly improve.
Run lap- 10 Goosies
Run Back 20 picklePounders
Thank you Goose for your leadership and thank you White meat for courage to try something new.
In March God was with us building our spiritual foundation brick by brick .
3/21/24 Popeye VQ
YHC would be flat out lying if I told you I wasn’t atleast a bit scared/concerned at what a Popeye Q might be. And based on the absolute silence of this usually chattering group during the beginning of the VQ some others were curious where the pain would come from as well. We stayed off his grass and all survived that day and ever since he has set the tone yielding his equally effective weapons of bricks and Yacht Rocks.
YHC found a song that was Yacht Rockish and represented Pops previous solo brick routine.
Coupon skips on our mystery song.
“All by myself “ equals burpee
One minute off per answer was the plan but these were fairly difficult and YHCs twang did not help a thorough explanation.
Answers :
– “ALL by myself “
– Artist – Eric Carmen
– other biggest hit song was “hungry eyes” featured in mutiple commercials to represent lusting after foods
– What Band did he leave: The raspberries
– Raspberry hit song was “Go all the away” – (hint: on guardians of galaxy soundtrack)
Thank you Pop for the tough love and for the Sailing lessons.
In April God was with us as we crank the intensity and carrying our burdens.
Yankee Jeaux has a well established resume of mega holiday beatdowns that many broadway production companies would envy. Yet he continued to push the bar higher with this Holy Week Stations of the Cross bd. It had the perfect blend of physical demand, silent reflection and opportunity for unity in suffering.
Thank you YJ, we secretly love your monologues.
Rucking also exploded onto the F3 Thib scene in the spring of ‘24 so we honored the Co-founders of Warrior Wednesday -Smooth and Honeysuckle. ( and a Tidy Whitey shoutout). These pax showed Great initiative to start and maintain a change of pace on Wednesdays. The ruck/run allows for open conversations and a simple format. Just ask Smooth all you need is a Jansport and a few hammers.
Both of these pax are connoisseurs of fine country so YHC dialed up ole King George.
“Carrying your love with me”
Coupon Step ups
A classic Smooth “Okay” was the general sentiment regarding coupon step ups.
Thank you HoneySuckle for your consistency, quality franchise Beatledowns and your God gifted infinity lungs
Thank you Smooth for cutting edge Maul/tire beatdowns and for always embracing a heavy load with a laugh and an “okay”
In May God was with us during a challenge.
This May we had a few wrinkles added to the annual May challenge . Some fasting , mutiple extra point grab opportunities and 3am -6 am 10 mile ruck Ruck that launched 1000 wife complaint’s. It led to some awesomely weird conversations and some revelations about valves call schedule.
To honor the super ruck and the Dawson 2.0s leading a Weird Al resurgence YHC found a little “YODA” .
Coup Calf raise on song
Curls on YODA
Thanks to Ronnie for giving me a template to ask my M about a middle of the night ruck. (It didn’t help)
In June God was with us to deal with transitions.
This one needs little introduction.
Mr Summerwind expressed all my feelings completely.
Cardinal to MC
“80 miles to Santa Fe”
Parked – Squat
Lake- Bonnie Blair
Santa Fe – SSH
We miss ya Cardinal.
Beatdown field trip in 2025- it’s happening. Thanks for encouraging the deeper questions and being a rock in our community.
In July God was with us to move heavy things.
Wet Tap continued to carve his niche as our Pax premier expert in Coupons of unusual size (COUS). directly or indirectly introducing Black Betty and Tiny this year we learned to fear seeing the high country back into a lot with no cinders in sight.
Song “Black Betty” by Ram Jam
We did OHP on Black Betty and Bama Lam
Thank you Tap, for seeing coupons everywhere you look.
Mid Year Intermission Song:
SSHs while YHC highlighted Lil Cuz’s innate ability to add valuable commentary on all things. Everyone sharpens iron in their own way and for Cuz it’s letting you know your beatdown monologue made him uncomfortable and that the veggie tray could use ranch.
Thank you Cuz for Keeping the bar high. If your brothers aren’t first, your last. Some pax whispers about a 2025 Earl Dibbles bd?!
In August, God was with us in the Danger.
The character arc of Safety Valve from friendly neighbor to Monday Supervillain has been nothing short of amazing. To sum it up best I pulled the YELP reviews from the pax on Mondays after a standard valve bd:
Popeye: Is Valve okay?
White Meat: I’m hurting Linda.
Goose: Does his insurance cover therapy? Asking for a friend.
Pope: I feel a new sensation of being short of breath.
Popeye: seriously, he ok?
…it goes on like that for a few pages.
To honor our much loved merkin maniac YHC called in some classic Kenny Loggins.
Highway to the Danger Valve
IW -Song
Double Merkin Burpee on Danger Zone.
Thanks for never letting off the gas Valveline.
I like the way you hurt a man.
In September God was with us to sharpen Iron.
Remind me again, Whose idea was Iron PAX plus BK 500 in the same month?! We must have been really high on Jersey Mikes that day.
As it happened, September 2024 at F3 Thibodaux was a minefield of some of the most difficult beatdowns we’ve ever attempted. It seems the brain trust up in Greenwood got together this year and decided there was a nationwide deficit in thrusters and burpees. This led to several snot woggle Saturdays where the legs were weakened but the shared suffering was stronger than ever.
To cap off the month we pivoted our annual SV500 into a fall friendly event and this year supported the nonprofit Brothers Keeper. Goose kept tradition by building a ridiculous but well thought out 20 station course that was much more defensible against questionable form. Inch worm merkins and the station 1 Dora still keep pax in cold sweats.
The dark horse team of Valve and Cardinal , now simply known as Second Collection, won the overall category and we’re still investigating that “anonymous” benefactor.
Song:
GreenDay
“Wake me up when September Ends “
On your 6 Hold coupon in press position.
Alt between flutter kicks , heels to heaven , leg raises.
WW3 sit-ups on “September”
Thanks to all who made the BK500 a great success.
In October/November God was with us to converge with our fellow brothers and to celebrate several milestones.
Our Bayou pax of 4 years , Goose with a 5 year and the NOLA region hit the 10 year mark!
These milestones could only be recognized by The GOOSELIZER. (As designed and led by Goose on the spot at Convergence)
A deconstructed SSH montage with plank jacks in between. It’s a thing of synchronized beauty.
Thanks to our NOLA brothers for continued support.
And finally we adjusted our reverse time dilators as we arrived back at December safely at our cozy stage.
December brings the season of Paxmas beatdowns as we prepare the way together. We had to adjust our Christmas carol expectations and even saw an exposed coca Cola Santa for the fraud he is. Chests and Butts were roasted on an open fire as ThighKowsky made a final bow. We saw a new grinch bring the Whoville pain and we were yearning for a YJ soliloquy. All this bringing us to an open field, a sky full of stars and vintage Goosing complete with 9000 pancakes plus a question :“Could we allow God to be bigger than us ?”
Song : God is with Us
Artist: For King and Country
-Coupon High Knees
-Thrusters on God is with Us
The last counting and naming of 2024 then in another slightly less smelly miracle YHC gifted the Push-up Pimp to Valve.
Great year of growth brother.
Announcements
-Get on Da Q Sheet
-Feb 8 It’s only a Mile
-White Mystery Meat Q (TBD)
Prayers
– winter illness’s
– Holiday anxieties
Thank you pax for these gifts and of the opportunity to lead and share together in all things that God provided in 2024.
I’ll wrap us up with a little sprinkle of what Mr. Clive Staples had to say on this matter and as my own challenge for 2025.
“I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.”
I pray we can see all things in this new year with the Light He provides.
God is with us.
SYITG
Dox
