YHC got a nasty case of what seemed to be food poisoning in the afternoon of Thanksgiving Day. This provided for an excellent scenario: enjoyed all the wonderful food, gained no weight from overeating, got hours and hours of intense core exercise, and gained inspiration for the empty Monday Q slot.
After a warmup of the usual on this chilly morning, YHC began the reenactment of that fateful Thanksgiving Day as we cued up the “Gobble Gobble” song by Matthew West that YJ introduced last year.
Thanksgiving Day started as one would expect, overeating at the table/trough next to family members. So, we partnered up, and while the music carried us through the details of the feast, one partner planked while the other did 10 merkins before switching. It wasn’t a long song, but it was plenty long enough.
After dinner, we began the neighborhood walk portion of the day, a tradition for many families, and this was accomplished via a simple mosey around the traditional mile route. But, at the beginning of the last quarter-mile, unexpected things began to happen. The world began to spin just a little bit, and at each lampost, we turned 90 degrees to either carioca, nur, carioca the other way, or run. Dizziness was kicking in, and something wasn’t right. Then, it hit–this was happening. It was time to sprint to the toilet/flag.
At this point, the waves of nausea are making it impossible to stand upright, but also impossible to lay down comfortably. So, we lined up on the edge of the concrete and rolled around and around uncomfortably for two minutes (via the following exercises, AMRAP) before having to run to the toilet:
10 big boy situps
10 Nolan Ryans on the left elbow
10 Afflecks
10 Nolan Ryans on the right elbow
Once two minutes were up, we ran to the “toilet”, a pair of coupons for each man about 10 yards from the concrete. Here we hovered over the toilet and wretched from all the way down in our toes before sitting on the toilet and opening a firehose. This was accomplished via 10 manmakers and 20 pooper squats (sit on the upended coupon and extend legs out front, like Jeff Daniels on Dumb and Dumber) or until 2 minutes were up. We than ran back to “bed” and did it all over again.
For Round 2, things were really starting to go downhill. For the first 2 minutes rolling around in agony in the “bed” we replaced the BBSU with 10 wife pleasers, because now the rear faucet is out of control and is requiring that level of glute squeezing to keep the sheets clean. Nolan Ryans on the left still followed, but then the Afflecks were replaced by 10 chilly jacks (low plank jacks). Left elbow Nolan Ryans still followed, and the rolling continued until 2 minutes was up.
This time, to get back and forth from the toilet, since we were losing fluids and strength at such a rapid rate, we had to (bear) crawl. The exercises were still manmakers and squat poopers, though–no matter how much we wanted to avoid them, the wretching is involuntary, and it (as well as the rectal peeing) comes when it will. Can’t stop that train.
It was somewhere around this time that Cuz asked, “Why would you want to go through all this again? Cuz, Cuz–the best way to process trauma is to take some of the hair of the dog that bit the horses you and your friends rode in on and make a mat out of it to do low planks and Nolan Ryans on.
As “Lime in the Coconut” was fading, we had time to do one last lightning round. One minute or rolling around consisted of 20 flutter kicks, 10 Nolan Ryans, 10 Australian sweat angels, and 10 Nolan Ryans. Bear crawl to the toilet again, but this time, sincere there’s really nothing left in your stomach, the manmakers become 10 burpees. And, the squat poopers are now done holding a coupong since it’s now much harder to get up off the toilet.
Thankfullly, we were saved by the bell (zofran and Immodium), and the recovery process began. COT and the Animal shirt went to Cuz for his well-time one-liners that he was still slingin’ in the later rounds. YHC expresed gratitude for a chance to relive a version of the Turkey Day Horrors with concrete blocks and great men. And, now the whole PAX are looking forward to the Salmonella beatdown, which is sure to come once Enron can get out of the bathroon.
SYITG,
Goose
