So, I rolled into the gloom around 5:20 a.m., eagerly waiting to spot some pax—you know, real people to suffer with. But alas, it was just me and the darkness. Then, out of the shadows at 5:28 a.m., the Knees Over Toes squad emerged like a twisted scene from a horror flick. Rougaroo whipped out some rubber band thing (yeah, no thanks!), and I was left wondering if I’d stumbled into an unauthorized stretch therapy group.
At this point, the likelihood of going solo was high. I even started prepping for my own lonely beatdown… but then, salvation! A train came by, summoning four late pax with impeccable timing. With no time for a disclaimer, we set off, breezing through some Abe Vagotas, grass grabbers, and side straddle hops with a flair that only exhaustion at dawn could bring.
Then it was time for the main event: “Friend Cindy”—aka 5 pull-ups, 10 merkins, and 15 air squats paired with half-bleacher sprints. We hammered out 4 rounds, netting 40 pull-ups, 100 merkins, and 120 air squats, because apparently, we were feeling ambitious.
We rounded it all out with some good ol’ Mary and wrapped up by the flag for a quick prayer.
