YHC launched several cafeteria EH campaigns the day after a fruitful July 4 beatdown and had quite a few nibbles working well into the evening until most were derailed by a glorious late night firework show. The two FNGs that did show however, were both whales in their own right. One, a youthful man’s man of only 4 years earthly experience but clearly an old soul. He came on retreat to sleep and do man stuff and he was already full up on rest. The second is more of the Moby Dick FNG. Aged and scarred, he’s dodged EH harpoons for a decade and our own Goose serves as his personal Ahab with so many name producing stories that the list could produce its own beatdown. In the vast sea of emotional headlocks , AnyfisherQ that prepares to land FnGs of this magnitude must also consult the veterans of old for a retreat beatdown battle plan. Ole Ahab was ready and waiting. And that’s how YHC found himself on the HeartRidge lake dam at 5:27a with 2 FNGs (1 legacy plus the aforementioned white whale) 3 regulars (including the newly minted Egon) , a preloaded Goose DC beatdown (if Goose puts “dem” in a title you should be afraid) , a few psalms in his heart , anddddd a list of names for these potential FNGs.
Duke !!
Its retreat beatdown round 2
Roll the footage!
Warmup
Standard issue in a deep gloom
keeping cadence with crickets, bullfrogs and whiporwills.
We got right to dat action boss.
The below is an adaptation of Goose’s “Dem Commitments” beatdown circa March ‘23.
Verbal, written and retinal scanner consent were obtained for copyright use.
1. ) Individual Prayer
Indian Run from dam to the big hill loop with drop off jumps squats
This to represent finding the time during the day to get quiet and converse with God or just maybe to just do some squats.
2.) Couples Prayer
Lazy Dora – 10 reps with partner in static hold then flip flop till 100
100 merkins (plank)
100 Squats (al gore)
100 flutter kicks (6 inches)
3. ) Family prayer
Ring of Fire taking turn with 3 burpees and IW while Johnny Cash warned us about love being a burning thing.
4. ) Couples Dialogue
“11’s “
Starts with 10 Apollo Onos and 1 leg raise with “The Hill” in between. As Goose alluded this is where the real work in DC begins and it was the same for this beatdown.
This is where the record scratched and we really got to see what the soon to be named HeMan calls “doing man stuff”.
The hill was relentless but no match for the tenacity of our multiple surgical jointed FNG. His push through the hill and blasting through his comfort zone will be burned into my memory for a really long time.
*editors note
-Thibodaux Rouses reports that after this beatdown “YJ taking to random strangers in the grocery line about his poor ole back ” incidents are now down 78%
Ya love to see it
A well earned light mosey back to the dam for COT, prayers of gratitude and some very important naming.
When I first met our youngest FNG he showed me a fisher price work bench along side a pillow and blanket then explained it was there so he could wake up and do the man stuff. These pure alpha characteristics earned him the moniker of HeMan. Father Royal Deuce approved and it was so.
Our elder FNG, the aforementioned scarred whale, had a epic but non traditional naming ceremony as YHC knew Goose, who has a lifetime worth of stories with this gentleman, needed to have atleast a swing at a fine surname. So we unveiled the list pre set by his old friend :
Chainsaw Massacre
Lead Baloon
Wiley Coyote
And finally …
..Puzzle Face
I can’t quite explain the level of snickering that took place during these listings ( fng included ) but when the smoke cleared Puzzle Face was the clear winner and we knew that at that same moment somewhere in La, Goose was doing the Robert Redford meme nod.
Men, thanks for the effort this week during a jam packed retreat schedule. You are a reminder to YHC that no hill is to high , no barrier to strong when we allow God to supply our source of strength
It’s a joy to lead ya
SYITG
Dox
