YHC showed up at the Peltch fully expecting it to be just Maneater and Jacknife joining the truckful of Dawsons on this Independence Day weekend, but what to my wandering eyes should appear, but Cuz, Honeysuckle, and Smooth, each with a 2.0. I think this is actually the first time I’ve ever attended a beatdown with more 2.0’s than 1.0’s. Even if we counted Pope as a full-grown PAX, the little ‘uns still outnumbered us 7 to 6. And, when we finally got them to put the sticks down, it was time to warmup.
Did the usuals, but introduced the Lafayette grass-grabbers, increasing the Lafayette warmup exercises to 30% of the total this morning. You see that math? That kind of quick figuring is what almost got YHC first place in the poker tournament. But, almost means I didn’t. An unlikely victor ran away with the prize, but we had some work to do first.
After the warmup, we moseyed to the farther end of the lower field, and YHC set up Bose with what was assumed to be a blast from the past, a reminder of years we might not want to be reminded of. (…right around the time we learned not to end a sentence in a preposition.) YHC set up Bose, gave instructions, and let fly with “Lucas with the Lid Off”, a top 25 track from 1994 with a Grammy nominated music video. We planked for the duration, toe tapped (reached under and touched opposite foot) for every “catch the vibe” and merkins for every “bubbles”. YHC expected maybe Maneater or at least Honeysuckle had heard it on the radio in middle school, but it was as if I had pulled a deep track from an unpopular album from an obscure Scandinavian country. YHC was like, “But it played on the radio all the time,” and they and every single person on GroupMe were like, “You sure that was a radio?” Whatever–music videos from other dimensions don’t get nominated for Grammys. At least I don’t think they do. But, it did motivate me to see how many other songs seemed to vanish into thin air somehow in future Q’s. More to come on this…
On to the main event, the F3 2024 Poker Tournament. The PVC cards from the Deck of Death were still wet from last time, so shuffling was difficult, but YHC managed, and each man was given 5 cards while each boy was given 3. The men paired up for one on one 5-card draw poker while the boys paired up for battle/war. The loser of each pair had to do the exercises on the cards of the hand with the harder exercises, and the winner did the exercises on the easier hand. If you did your math, like YHC, you’d see that pretty much every card was used (we included the jokers and the instructions cards–they were wild), whihc meant that there was no avoiding the really tough ones. Someone was going to be doing the 25 burpess or the 400m sprint. The jokers were frog hops between trees, which brought back bad memories from not too long ago.
After all 5 exercises (or 3 for the wee ones) were completed, the winners went to the winners’ bracket, and the losers to the losers’ and we did it again. After that round, we had a winning winner’s bracket, a losing losers’ bracket, and a bracket that combined the winning losers and the losing winners from the previous round. YHC and Bam Bam were the final pair to face off for the title of King Poker Face, and he won with a pair of 4s. After getting an actual flush the round before (no wilds), YHC could only muster a king-high, so Bam Bam emerged as the champion, and YHC had to do some sprinting.
With about 10 minutes on the clock, we went all against all, 5-card stud, and somehow Cuz ended up with three kings and a Joker, so the whole PAX did the exercises on the cards in his hand. (Shared suffering is so much better than doing your own sets of different excercises, even if you’re right next to someone else.)
After this, we hustled back to the flag for about 6 minutes of Mary: WWI situps, crunchy frogs, heels to heaven, wife pleasers, Afflecks, and side planks. COT, intentions offered, especially for the PAX on family retreat, and Coyote prayed us out.
Awesome work, fellas! It’s always such a gift to start the weekend with such quality men.
SYITG,
Goose
