“What is a Mardi Gras?” YHC asked. Standing in the playground of Homer Elementary , YHC was at that tender age of naivety when it seems coaches have all the answers to life’s questions. My PE coach cinched up his grey Riddell shorts (you know the ones) around a considerable beer gut and confidently informed me:
“ Yea Owens, well it’s pretty much a bunch of idiots get drunk and dress up like fools with their friends then give up bread or something ….why don’t you go cover first base and maybe ask your parents”
9 year old YHC trotted out to first base safely tucking Mardi Gras into my “Bobby Bouche: Things That are the Devil” folder, right beside football, MTV and any activities after 8pm.
Thankfully it didn’t stay tucked away for long as God put YHC on a path towards south La and I would soon be in a free men’s workout group where the chatter de jour was usually “how to say pirogue” or “whether potato salad and gumbo should ever touch each other”. It’s one of the many fine attributes of this thing we call F3, somedays my virgin ears hear Depeche Mode and can never regain innocence and others days if I’m the lucky downwind pax, I get a fartlek taste in the air of last night’s Cajun cuisine. So, todays beatdown would be a wild hodge-podge of Mardi Gras learned, observed and practiced from a North La transplant.
LEGAL DISCLAIMER: In the court case filed as Mr. Ronnie Lillickk vs the Pax of F3 Thibodaux the ruling of the jury was that YHCs north La version of Mardi Gras does not represent all North La transplants. Furthermore, there are many fine intelligent people form this part of the state.
Duke! I know you are the King of Barkus this year but you still have to roll the beautiful footage!!
Warmup
YHC moseyed in from deep Richman territory adorned in only the finest cheap plastic gadgetry that Houma CVS could offer. Running right into a welcome sight of none other than Tidy Whitey!! He got a few highlighter stick pops as penance for 500 plus missed beatdowns but was welcomed back with much hoopla and praise! With 8 more pax ready to roll we got down to business with the usuals as YHCs outfit could not withstand even a few SSHs, one hates to see it. A bumper/stop sign mosey was in order to get the legs pumping and begin racking up some RCR miles.
THANG 1
Mardi Gras Mambo –The Meters
Traditional F3 Thibodaux style with Merkins on Mambo and Donkey Kicks on “Down in New Orleans”. This song goes down in F3 Thib lore. In its debut the line “it takes a cool cat to blow a horn” was translated (by YHCS caffeine riddled brain) into “Texaco Cat blows a horn” and the legend of Texaco Cat still lives on . YHC has always imagined Texaco Cat as a north La gas station attendant that’s strong as an ox, knows his rights and has a bumper sticker on his hemi Dodge Ram that says “kids who fish and hunt don’t steal and deal”.
YHC gave the disclaimer that proper form would be observed and rewarded. Yankee Jeaux was locked in early and often in this beatdown and took the merkin form title easily. He was then granted the Tutu of Power and the Flashing Stick of Trust to lead us as the Grand Merkin Marshal in an Indian Run Parade with 3 drop off LBCs ( ya gotta find dat baby in da king cake shah! Piyyyyahhhh)
Onward to the beginning of Richmans loop for “Throw me something Mister”, originating from a younger ignorant YHC speculating that maybe all those cajuns are just angrily throwing stuff around because they got all them teeth and no teethbrush (ok I’ve reached my second Waterboy reference and I promise that’s it)
PAX partnered up with a goal of transporting both pax and 1 tennis ball to the far corner of RL. Mode of transport was mosey then catch a “throw” from your partner. Rinse and repeat with 3 “Hi 5” burpee penalty for a drop. Ended up in a two horse race with Goose/Cuz vs YJ/AB enjoying a reduced burpee penalty at the finish line. The rest of the us enjoying a 10 burpee appetizer.
THANG 2
Next up Mardi Gras Trivia to represent YHCs schooling years when I began to figure out the Rubiks cube holiday of mardi gras and Lent.
Correct Answer- run/nur 1/2 road to port a jeaux
Incorrect – run /nur full road to cones and back
1-Name all three states in which Fat Tuesday is recognized as a State Holiday.
ANSWER: LA, AL, FL- With a little prodding we got this correct.
**LEGAL DISCLAIMER: In the case of Mr./Future Dr. Maught vs the people of Florida the jury has come to a decision that he was in fact “not raised here” but does at times display Floridian characteristics and is able to leverage their politicians for social media clout.
2-Carnival comes from the Latin phrase Carne Vale meaning what?
ANSWER: Farewell to Meat – YHC was feeling gracious after those penalty burpees and helped a bit on this one.
3- This on screen Batman served as King Bachus?
Michael Keaton was correct with a surprising lack of controversy that Michael Keaton was the GOAT on screen Batman. YHC was ready for a good ole donnybrook if anyone said the word Clooney.
4- New Orleans cancelled Mardi Gras parades in 1870 due to an outbreak of this disease?
ANSWER: Yellow fever – Correct and a very safe guess for any illness before the 20th century.
5- Krewe of Zulu tosses what coveted Mardi Gras trinket during the parade each year?
“Coconut” was immediately given as an answer then contested that this was incomplete and YHCs brief internet research led him to believe it was only GOLD coconuts. YHC will now award post beatdown points that this was acceptable and letters of condolence have been sent to all who ran that extra eighth of a mile.
THANG 3
Only in the last 3 years has YHC come to fully appreciate Mardi Gras as part of the yearly feast before we begin our Lenten fasting. After some exicon research YHC found the Cooper to be a great representation of contrasted feast/fast with some potential RCR mileage sprinkled in .
The (mini and abbreviated ) Cooper
*editors note- a full Cooper is 10 merkins, squats, burpees with a quarter mile run in between each round
Fast- Run 1/4 Mile (alley/straight away/alley and back )
Feast – 7merkins , 7burpees, 7 squats
The crew got about 3 rounds into this before YHC realized we were a touch behind schedule and called an Omaha at the line. We finished the 5 rep and 3 rep rounds at the corners of the loop then sprinted for home.
Counting, naming and welcoming the prodigal Tighty Whitey return!
InVESTment given to Cuz for his willingness to wear a hat and play the part of “that guy at the parade that bases his whole life on defending Bud Light”.
COT and Cuz prayed us out
Grateful to show up each day and improve the mind , body, and spirit with you fellas.
See you in the Gloom
Paradox
