These the kings of Thibodaux are.
Bearing gifts they travel so far.
Field and fountain .
Moor and mountain
Following yonder star!
Duke! Get the Camels!
We’re going to Bethlehem
Roll that beautiful beatdown footage !
18 pax, with assorted 2.0’s, gathered on a chilly Peltch gloom for a journey…well actually 3 journeys (it’s well documented YHC has a problem maintaining a single theme during beatdowns)
These leagues of learned men were hungry for a cardio feast and little did they know YHC had a buffet ready to serve from the East….hold it right there…I see you shaking your head…If you have a medical condition that is affected by wisemen puns, please exit this backblast. Your condition will not improve
YHC rolled in on 2 camel humps after an extended garage search for Balthasar and Melchior but had to settle for jump ropes and tennis balls. YHC then moseyed into a gaggle of waiting magi and saw one foreigner towering above the rest. The unmistakable visage of Toe Loop had the pax in a frenzy and it was great to see him back in mix. Goose screeched in with the Van of Truth right on time. These pax were frankly incensed to get started and myrrhbe just myrrhbe we could go for gold today. Pleasantries, insults, and coupons were dispersed and we got down to business .
Warmup
Colder than expected winds from the east and a larger than expected group led YHC to some high rep counts to buy time for internal calculations. Plus the added benefit that nothing gets the pax full attention more than shoulder centric warmups.
YHC then split the pax into teams of 3/4 (math is an elective at Homer High) each with a coupon and we headed for the thunderDome.
Journey #1
Two of today’s journeys would have clearly defined geographic destinations with goals to accomplish, lakes to sit by and a King to honor in the process. Before starting these though, YHC wanted to continue Gooses recent individual appraisals of our first F journey.
YHC instructed the pax complete AMRAP burpees, merkins , bbsus.
All for one minute each with a goal of establishing a benchmark for the year. We will return to these quarterly to assess progress and videos of form will be periodically sent to Sheriff Jeaux’s office for review.
Lil Jon led us in the greatest of motivational hymns and all considered what they would turn down for.
Journey #2 Santa Fe
It’s the new year and if we want to set fitness goals then the first step is to know exactly where we are (see journey #1)
The logical next step is to take a look at your own version of the mall map and find the arrow denoted “you are here “ then have a long think about where you want to be.
Well, if there is any place in the world where I’d like to be to have a really deep think then it’s prolly an adoration chapel….BUT if there were a second place then it’s right next to that Lake …you know the one…it’s just 80 miles to Santa Fe.
Dean Summerwind led us and we completed:
“Santa Fe”- Bonnie Blair
“Parked” Squat
“Lake “ – Tin soldier
With Al gore holds for maybe 5 seconds.
The pax thoroughly enjoyed it with Popeye adding it to his “play at my funeral “playlist.
Da Main Thang a Lang
Journey #3 Arabia to Bethlehem
We were feeling pretty dang good about ourselves with the 80 miles to Santa Fe so we set our sights a little farther …
800 miles to make Santa Pay.
That’s right , Jan 6 is STILL Christmas on my calendar you jolly fat man and we got 800 miles to get to baby Jesus so you better hop aboard , this pain train is leaving the station!
3 Rounds of reps to complete as a 3 King Trio representing the aforementioned 800 miles .
We would intermingle trivia and the fine arts to hone our wiseman skills. The trivia was hand selected from ABs learned league sample questions and YHC went easy on the pax with only the “ >50 percent correct” categories.
There would be burpees on the line and we all know Cardinal does his best work when threatened with cardio. I mean seriously if you grew up a Dragon Ball Z nerd like YHC you can imagine ordinary Cardinal going full Super Saiyan when you challenge his heart with burpees but leverage it with trivia.
Round 1 – 300 curls
P1 coupon curls
P2 run to the gate and back (timer)
P3 Mountain climbers
Trivia Round 1
1.) Fill in the blank
Mega, Giga, Tera, -blank-, Exa
The pax made a few educated guesses here but took 5 burpees on the chin.
2.) Herbaceous plant known as scientific name Trifolium
Cardinal honored his namesake answering that St Patrick’s trinity Clover was correct and saved us from 5 burpees
3.) a spiders organ used to produce silk ?
Goose used his experience Cosplaying as SpiderDad to answer Spinneret and save us another 5 burps.
After our penalty 5 burpees we stopped to consider what the magi may be feeling 300 miles in. Should we “turn around” ??
JBL fired up a F3 Thib classic with Bonnie Tyler’s Total eclipse of the heart. (See GroupMe Diagram for belting vs crooning concerns)
Flutter kicks on song
Leg Raise on all Turn Arounds
Round 2 200 Thrusters
P1 jump rope
P2 run around thunderdome building
Round 2 Trivia
1.) What word is the motto of a western US state, a brand of vacuum cleaner, and what Archimedes is alleged to have exclaimed before he left his tub and ran naked through the streets of Syracuse? EUREKA! Not sure who had credit for this one but they saved us 5 burps.
2.) Dantes Divine Comedy is an epic poem divided into three canticas. The first is Inferno, what are the other two? PURGATORIO, PARADISIO – Cardinal for the win!
3.) With the single exception of 1989 when Darrell Waltrip passed the checkered flag on Hoosier tires, every Daytona 500 winner since 1969 has driven on tires from what manufacturer. GOODYEAR
Pax went 3/3 and enjoyed a pleasant 5 burpees.
Round 3 – The Home Stretch
This would have originally been 300 SSH but time required us to adapt the 300 miles into a full Rarajapari sprint home .
With the goal of bringing your 3 gifts (pax , tennis balls , and coupon ) safely to Bethlehem (the flag) and a penalty of 5 burpees for the last team.
YHC tried to be slick and set his team on a “around the crapper “ track but we got bogged down in the marsh only rescued by SuperFast and Maneaters willingness to dive into ankle deep puddles .
It came down to the wire until AB took a dagger to our hearts with a Beckham bending kick to the flag.
Team Goose took the win and a poorly led team dox ate the burpees.
(Can someone teach me to futbol’ )
3 minutes of Mary at the flag to finish where we wafted many backblasts and only dreamed of smelling sweeter incense.
The counting
The naming
YHC gave ManEater the inVESTment for eating those coupon thrusters like they were breakfast muffins.
Dilly Dilly prayed us out .
RUN CAJUN RUN SIGN UP
ITS ONLY A MILE – FEB 17
Looking forward to an awesome year of progress with you chaps.
It’s a privilege to lead.
Epilogue
The following is an excerpt from the award-winning biography of Dave Mitchell
“America’s Best of Times”
Written by the Pax of F3 Thibodaux
Foreword by Squanto
Chapter 18 : The Best of Us
“We buried him on a Tuesday. Tuff was always his favorite beatdown ya know…its where he got his start. Goose at 106 years old, sang a stirring rendition of “Wind Beneath My Wings” followed by Valve ceremoniously sprinkling flourescein into the dirt. A light wind stirred the leaves on that quiet Virginian hillside. We had a few last moments to spend with our friend, the best of America. He looked solemn in that home built brewpon casket. Like any moment he would growl and do one last leg raise. The gray of his beard shimmering like the alpaca vest he had worn hundreds of times in a decorated life of service. We waited around at the grave after, swapping stories of beatdowns long blasted.
Thats when the great granddaughter of the beast approached us with an envelope.
“My great grandad had two requests in his will” she said.
“#1 Make sure Yankee Jeaux is doing full extension Apollo Onos. I don’t know who Jeaux is but make sure he knows he was very adamant about this.
And #2 Give this letter to the men. She opened it and read aloud.”:
“In the waiting list of life you brothers were the wisest of men, my true learned league, never forget what we did, it was important”
She hit play on a small musical device and walked off as we staired out across the fading twilight, the music played and somewhere in the distance a whippoorwill crooned softly.
“Once upon a time I was falling in love. But now I’m only falling apart. Theres nothing I can do …a total eclipse of the heart
SYITG
Dox
