Disclaimer: Those who have admitted to not seeing “Back to the Future” may some may experience significant shade during this backblast. Reader discretion advised.
YHC loves time travel. Whether it melts your brain (Primer), or rots your brain (Hot Tub Time Machine), YHC will watch it. And in most of these tropes, there are plenty of numbers, pseudoscience, and doing something, going back (Jack) and doing it again– much like an F3 beatdown.
And so today, just after the 68th anniversary of the day Doc Brown hit his head on his toilet and devised the Flux Capacitor, the PAX joined the ranks of Bill and Ted, and time travelled.
The pioneer, at least in YHC’s mind, was Marty McFly, so this beatdown was themed on his first foray into the past.
We start in present day (1985), will travel to 1955, and then hopefully, back to the present again. As everyone (except Enron) knows, we need two things in order to travel: 88 MPH, and 1.21 Gigawatts.
Thang 1: Time travel from 1985 to 1955
M= 0.88 miles
P= 88 Peter Parkers
H= 88 Hillbilly Squats
This was knocked out as we ran/nar, answering random time travel/BTTF trivia (including BTTF music trivia). Montana impressed with his knowledge of the future (2015).
Upon returning to the flag area, the PAX quickly knocked out a round of 21s (curls) which represented the necessary 1.21 gigawatts of power. And like that, we were in 1955.
Thang 2: Time travel from 1955 back to 1985
This is obviously going to be more difficult, as plutonium cannot be purchased at every corner store in 1955.
88 MPH this time:
88 Merkins
88 Parker-Peters
88 Hydraulic Squats
This proved to be more time consuming than YHC had planned, so we aborted early and moved to the 1.21 gigawatt portion of 1955. What other way would one achieve 1.21? Blackjack.
Start on the sideline between picnic tables. Perform 20 coupon curls – run to other tables, perform 1 V-up. Nur back and do 20 coupon curls. Run back for 2 V-ups. Repeat until you do 1 CC and 20 v-ups, running between the sidelines. Always adds up to 21.
(“ Black Jack” officially calls for Merkins and LBCs, but more Merkins seemed too extreme*, and LBCs seemed to easy. And… I’ll say it… we don’t do enough curls).
The required effort was great, but the motivation to return to the present was even greater—don’t forget, in 1955 your mother is trying to get in your pants (YHC recently re-watched the film, and this theme is much more disturbing than remembered).
In the end, ironically, we ran out of time.
We headed back to the flag for the final trivia question:
At precisely what time was the clock tower struck by lighting? (and not by a tornado, Enron)
YHC reminded everyone, that just as in the prior song trivia section, where no answer resulted in 10 merkins, and incorrect answers resulted in 4, this time an incorrect answer (or no answer) will result in 10 merkins, a correct answer, only 4.
And so we all did 10 Merkins. The correct answer is right there. Right… there.
Thanks for playing, everyone.
To be continued . . .
– Goodbye Goose Get-together Nov 12th at the Enron property
(undercard event at AB’s house the day before, weather permitting)
COT and Dox prayed us out.
…Coda (the end is the beginning is the end):
YHC ran out of time, but we got it right. We finally got it right. The first 17 times YHC ran this beatdown, tragedy befell the PAX. Once, blinded by poor parking protocol rage, Dox smashed the Prius with such force that it ripped the space-time continuum. *Another time, YHC had programmed merkins for Blackjack, and Enron’s shoulders finally exploded. And then there was the iteration where Tree Root showed up. Luckily, YHC had upgraded his Turo rental DeLorean with the Mr. Fusion attachment, and was able to keep going back and doing it over until we got it (mostly) right.
“So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.”
…
