“Everyone has a plan, till you get punched in the face by the iron fist of a 3 week old” YHC thought as he sent the mayday text to Goose at 5:10a “start the warm up then Jurp them boys and jurp them good!”
Apparently newborn vomitus waits for no man and after some mischief was managed I put the Dox mobile into a hi 5th, ya hate to be late to a bake-off !!
When the great creator of the Jurp (some circles only whisper his name as “the architect”) unveiled the Jurpee extra curriculars YHC thought they looked like a recipe’s ingredient list. I knew that could be used, but it sat in the “save for beatdown file” waiting for a spark. Stephen King says the creation of any good story starts with a cup (the content) and you just need to add a handle (the conflict/action) to carry it. When YHCs M reminded me of a fresh season of the Great British Baking Show I had just the Handle I needed. Ya see unlike more productive pandemic hobbies (Cardinal’s coffee roasting and Jeaux’s Peleton) YHC picked up this ultra addictive baking show. It had all the fine qualities YHC loves in a tV show. No plot, no characters to remember. Comedians hired to stir the pot. PLUS you can fall asleep in season 2 , wake up in season 7 and they are baking the same bread with the same quippy satire. No spoilers, no recap. Just pastry’s and focaccia and zero stress.
Bliss
In review : Cup plus handle plus prime time gloom= a bake off themed beatdown
Duke! Get the bean footage!
On your mark , get set , bake!
Warmup –
Completed by Goose as YHC performed burp cloth windmills and imperial wet diapers.
The Signature Bake
Dish : 2 pots of oven baked JurpeeLaya- Just add pax
Serve fresh with a late Q.
YHC rolled in hot after an agonizingly long ride behind a cane truck and picked up about 1.25 jurps in. This segwayed nicely into the explanation of the Jurpee as a classic signature bake. It’s familiar, repeatable, and you can present it with confidence even if Paul Hollywood says your jump sqats look stodgy and your leg raises are still raw in the center.
The Technical Bake:
Dish : The Paul HollyWebb
Usually difficult with very little instructions involving complex ingredient ratios.
Our bakers had to attempt a Paul Holliwebb bake that included a 1 mile run and some mixed Jack Webbs
First at the port a jon for Bonnie Blair’s and Merkins.
Increases by 1 and 2 till we finished with 6 Bonnie’s and 12 merkins
(Total : 16 Bonnie’s , 30 merkins)
There were zero complaints about the OctoberBest Merkin fest on Saturday
German engineering at its best.
Round 2
V/ups / BBSU
1 BBSU/2 BBSU till we got till 6 BBSU and 12
(Total : 24 v ups ish
(Memory is hazy here so please modify your numbers if that’s the truth in your heart)
**at the time of this writing leg raises outside of a jurp will be put on trial by the Rienzi Inquisition.
Goodness gracious , this ISI has more asterisks than the McGuire/Sosa homerun race ***
Took it to Coupon Alley with a 3 burpee Indian Run on the way
The ShowStopper
The last bake of the show
This one is everything you got
All out , hammer down, no brakes.
Which logically lead us to …
The Diddle Death March ManMaker Mile brought to you by Betty Crocker
Inspired by Diddles personal touch to close out a bd with nothing left but a puddle of pax.
10 Manmakers
Run to stage
1 Burpees
In Elevens format we decreases the manmakers and increased the burpees till time or death do us part.
The plan was to make enough rounds to generate a mile but the pax were saved by the bell.
In the great white tent of the British bake contestants are always up against the clock and todays bake was no different.
Goose and Pope went pretty deep into the man makers and got Dox Hollywood handshakes.
Smooth gets Star Baker for gutting out a heavy run Q and I think we hit 2.5 “Okays”
Announcements
Invigor8 Grant FB live event tomm 7pm
Link will be on groupme
COT and Popeye prayed us out
Bulletin Board Material:
Jurptown USA has formally changed its name to SmugVille City led by Mayor Goose.
They sit on a mountain of points and dare a challenger to come and take the trophy.
Do not let them go gently into the night !
Here’s a Dox of Chocolates :
Have you ever seen someone and just for a split second it wasnt how you usually see them. I know you are thinking “dox put the shrooms down “ but hear me out. Like in a crowded airport when you unexpectedly see a family member or as you pass a loved one in traffic. Sometimes just for a microsecond your brain sees them as any other stranger would. Then almost instantaneously your brain catches up and the recognition kicks in. And in that microsecond window of time you go from “complete unknown variable” to filling in all the experiences you have had with the subject in question. Then you have special moment of grace realizing the connection.
Well this morning while rocketing down 308 behind the aforementioned cane truck I was too absorbed to realize I was already parallel with the stage. The opposite lane was full of another 2 cane trucks (Tis the season) and then suddenly cleared. There in the gloom were 7 men suspended in perfect jurp squat unison. Pushing past their own pain to help sharpen the one next to them. I’d never seen it like that , from the outside. It was glorious. For just that blink of time I didn’t know what it was. Then I smiled, pulled in and jumped into the fray, filled with gratitude for these high impact fellows.
A privilege to lead men
SYITG
Dox
