YHC has been called many things in his life. Some have said he’s stubborn. Others have said he’s a bit arrogant. Not a few folks have made the outlandish claim that YHC tends to be melodramatic…perhaps even moody. Still others would even go so far as to note YHC sucks at maff.
Regardless of what these peasants may say, I am not any of these things and the very fact that such atrocious slander would be heaped on my flawless purveyance of righteousness is nothing short of Paradox-level hypocrisy. After all, Enron, 3.8 lbs + 3.8 lbs = 10 lbs. I have spoken.
How does this translate into a beatdown? Your guess is as good as mine. Take a little bit of stubborn cockiness, a heaping tablespoon of dramatic (if not grumpy) flare, and a complete mockery of Euclid’s legacy, and you have whatever the hell this morning was.
For context, as we approach the completion of our second week with the May Challenge, point totals like 1,000 have taken on special significance. The men in Cleveland are no dummies. There is no easy way or even loop hole to racking up points. So, this morning was supposed to be a frontal assault on that hill.
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The idea was that running quarter mile distances in an 8 minute pace (2 minutes), followed by 1 minute of exercises, aiming for at least 45 points (merkins, BBS, coupon curls, and/or pullups), one could – in fully ungrounded theory – achieve 1,000 points in 40 minutes. The breakdown is below:
– 2 minute quarter mile (25 points)
– 1 minute exercises (45 pt total)
– Total: 70 points
Repeat above combo 12 times for 840 total points.
The beauty of this is that the above cycle would take 36 minutes, thus leaving 4 minutes to work. Since partial miles don’t count, it would be a blitzkrieg of exercises, aiming for 160 points or 40 points each of the last four minutes.
840 + 160 = 1,000 (see, I do maff good)
You might say, hitting 160 points in four minutes is impossible. Ok, then ruck one of the three miles accumulated from the quarter mile sprints (four quarter mile runs with weight). If carrying 30 lbs, for example, your last four minutes looks like 130 points (32.5 pts per minute). AND if the PAX showed up stretched and ready to go, then you could add 5 more minutes to the overall beatdown, which would further distribute the per minute point totals across the beatdown OR give you enough time to add a fourth mile.
The logic is sound. The execution would need to be relentlessly methodical. Trying to pull it off 10 days into the May Challenge at the Lion’s Den was delusional.
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The beatdown structure was simple:
Run a series of quarter miles if you want to build points that way, otherwise do whatever the hell you want. After the dust settled, the average point accumulation was between 615 and 670 (not counting any pre-beatdown work). **Not bad at all considering that this time the mileage was actually accurate to the hundredth of a mile.**
– Paradox stayed true to the run/exercise sequence. He even threw in some pull-ups on a bar that I couldn’t have reached jumping.
– Similar to YHC, Enron abandoned some of the run early to focus on his uncanny strength with merkins and coupon curls.
– Goose seemingly completed 9 million big boy sit-ups and stuck to the run combo.
– It appeared as if Picadilly ran for 40 minutes straight, but he also knocked out a bunch of exercise points.
AND though this individual PAX commands plenty of respect, I think the level falls woefully short of the awe we should have for 14-year old Pope. This dude is a beast now. In a few years, he is going to redesign F3 because it’s not hard enough for him. He just never stopped…like literally went all out for 40 minutes straight.
(In the beginning of the beatdown, I asked Pope if he wanted full bricks (for mini-rucking) or half bricks. He politely asked for the full bricks. The look on his face, however, politely told me that if I ever disrespected him like that again, he’d make half bricks by breaking full bricks over my head.)
Exact point totals for each PAX is somewhat known, but will not be published here, lest Enron decides to live into his F3 name. You know what he’s like when looking at numbers on a spreadsheet. The temptation to cook the books is just too strong. You go to a barber shop long enough, you’ll eventually get your hair cut (or so I’m told).
That said, based on casual convos following the beatdown, and including pre-beatdown runs by Enron, Paradox, Goose, Pope, and YHC, my best maff skilz puts totals between 870 – 925.
The challenge is on. 1000 points in 40 minutes. It can be done. Who will answer the call?
SYITG,
Yankee Jeaux
