YHC rolled into the Den on two wheels with just a few extra minutes to let some LepraCones (tM) stretch their legs in the ball park . YhC saw Dilly drive up to see what was happening, gave a fist bump and politely let him know that everything he had seen was “classified “. YHC then set out a few coin dishes and the last thing YHC saw was a gangly Irish fellow with a green mullet and a smedium Irish Affliction shirt (never change Thibodaux Walmart) coming toward me. He had Joy in his eyes and a prayer in his heart. He shotgunned a Guinness and told YHC this beatdown was his…that’s when YHCs lights went dim and all that’s left below are eye witness accounts and fragmented memories during an out of body experience.
Duke !! Get the footage !!
Warmup
5:15am:
Report from Dale at the
Chic Fil La Drive Thru :
“I saw several middle aged men loitering around a lion statue. They looked like they were waiting on someone. Then a maniac rounded the corner with green hair and it was business in the front , party in the back . I’m gonna be honest with you here, that guy looked high. Maybe bath salts. He ran around them in circles, obviously some pagan ritual chant playing from a wireless device. He paused in the middle and spoke in what sounded like a hybrid between Jeff Foxworthy and Connor McGregor. They followed him in unison and it only took a few minutes for them to work into a full lather. He gave them one last cussin and they disappeared toward the demon duck pond. Strange man …real strange. “
5:22am
Report from Martha who “gets her steps in” every morning at the demon duck pond track:
“Youths today !! I tell ya what ! They ran by me in a line singing about drunken sailors and rambling rovers! Then they made the last man do a crude 1/2 lunge dance. This new generation is circling the toilet ! Now if you’ll excuse me I need 400 more steps so I can have my pastalaya for breakfast “
Journal entry from Earl Thibodaux
Who works maintenance for the parks department and keeps meticulous notes during his smoke break.
“These young fellas poured into the ball field about 5:30a. They had cardinals, gooses and one guy was straight up named after a piece of wood. Clearly gang affiliated. The skinny mullet weirdo read them an excerpt from the St Patrick prayer and they danced around the field. The signs said :
Station 1
Christ Beneath Me
10 big bois
1 coin
5 bonnie Blair’s
Station 2 Center Field
Christ on my right, Christ on my left
15 (2 is one) Apolo Ohnos
2 coins
Station 3 Right Field
Christ Above Me
20 Star Jumps
3 coins
5 bonnie Blair’s
That fella then organized some sort of exercise money game. Prolly with that real Lean fella they call Enron.
First they went solo collecting coins at Stations and the losers did squats.
Next he had them Split into teams
They started at home base with 2 buckets for coins.
1 fella was at at bucket doing jumping jacks at all times but could swap out with a team mate.
The rest of them leapt to any station or a cone to complete reps or gather a prize which gave them gold coins for the bucket of gold.
He had some cones out too , looked like this:
Cone 1 (I) 20 LBCs 1 coin
Cone 2 (R) 100 high knees (1 is 1)
Cone 3 (E) 30 Leg Raises …(the answer to the preBlast riddle was set as a 0 coin trap . Sorry Dilly! )
Cone 4 (L) 10 side Lunges (left right is 1)
Cone 5 (A) 10 American hammers
Cone 6 (N) 20 flutter kicks
Cone 7 (D) 10 dolphin Hops
I heard the one they called Dilly holler “stay away from the E cone, it’s a trap!” They never saw it coming.
They played a few rounds and the team with the cranky bald fella that makes fake siren noises kept winning. Finally they jogged back around the civic center and I for one , wouldn’t be surprised if you saw those mugshots on the 6 o clock news. “
5:58
Dale from Chic Fil La again
“Well that girl forgot my mini biscuits so I made another lap around the drive thru. That’s when I saw them kids sprinting back to the lion. They did a few more leg ups then counted each other and named each other. They said a group prayer and scattered before I could even jot down a plate number!
6:20a
Paradox:
YHC woke up in his driveway with a foggy head and some scattered cones. A note on my windshield read “you’ve got a solid group of Lads there, now they know a proper Irish beatdown !
St Patty Pray for us
see ya next year
– ParO’dox “
NMM
Was recently discussing the consistency aspect of F3 with Enron and we both agreed it had outlasted any previous “fad exercises” in our careers. A funny thing about F3 for YHC is the “frog in boiling water “ effect. One day you walk into your first gloom with old gym shorts on cus your friend said it was “a challenging workout ”. The next thing you know you have on a Irish national flag hat with a sewn in mullet singing sea shanties and yelling “Oui” as a response while you lead other men. Yet just as the frog can’t quite remember when the water started boiling, I can’t really pinpoint when F3 begin to make me a better man. I just know day by day, rep by rep , through suffering and triumph we improve each other a little more .
See Ya Bonnie Lads in the Gloom
Dox
