The year is 1999..
In your best friends basement you pull the marioKart64 cartridge , give it two puffs inward and reinsert . Rainbow road flashes on the screen and your pulse quickens. Just the perfect amount of sweat on your palms to reduce the D-pad Friction on your thumb. Two hot pockets in the microwave upstairs and you got a Surge in the fridge for just such an occasion.
Life is good…
The year is 2008.
Despite a college physics final in 8 hours that could derail your future career you are locked in a heated Nintendo Wii Mario Kart tournament. A pack of keystone lights awaits the victor.
Life is good …
The year is 2023. Your stand in a circle of High Impact Men on a crisp bayou morning and you have the privilege to lead. A pristine life size Mario Kart track awaits 4 Pax.
Seasons change , presidents come and go but Mario Kart …Mario Kart is forever.
Warmup
SSH, IW, WM, GG with the Clap
AC, cherry picks , MC (I can feel a schism on its way that involves Cardinal removing these from the warmup )
Bumper mosey
Anker Tribute
Day-O by Harry Belafonte
Sqats – 3 levels on “day “
Alternate between upper, middle and lower squat hold
A deeeeep burn sets in on about the 14th day and there are many many more
The Thang a Lang (it’s funny cus it sounds like dang a lang, ok ok I’ll show myself out )
*****MARIO KART *****
5 stations setup on corners of the Track
3 banana peels and a mystery cube at each
Flip the cone -pick one , complete exercise , advance with sprint in between.
Gather 1 coin per Lap
Most coins per round wins
LIGHTNING: 7 burpees for all pax except the one ego pulled the card , they advance 2
Rainbow road -mosey to bumper
GREEN SHELLS
Each pax has 1 each with various reps , in round 1 can give out to any pax as they pass.
Round 1
10 minutes
Every one on their own.
Do what you must to win.
Goose and Cuz tied for round 1 with 2 coins each after hitting a flurry of Lightning streaks.
Round 2
10 minutes
Pax as a team , try to beat collective goal from round 1 of coins
Use green shells to help a burdened teammate this round
We equaled our goal here with significantly more hardships in the rainbow road and thruster departments. Great effort and YHC could feel the concerted efforts to break our goal.
Peels were as follows :
Cone 1
20 merkins
25 squats
20 monkey humpers
? Card: bearcrawl to 2
Cone 2
20 big boys
20 leg raises
20 crunchy frogs
?card : Lightning
Cone 3
20 coupon OHP
?card: Rainbow road
20 thrusters
20 Coupon swings
Cone 4
15 ranger merkins
50 MC (2 is 1)
10 burpees
?card: lightning
Cone 5
10 shoulder tap merkins
10 jump squats
?card : bearcrawl back to 4
Notes:
– Back to back to back Lightning in round one equaled about 50 burpee’s sandwiched between moseys #yikes
– The transferred vengeance of round 1 was palpable when Darth Cardinal handed me 8 body builders and immediately gave Cuz 10 more squats. He blamed Goose and as planned we saw the ugly side of competing only for one’s self: Blame, guilt, wrath , envy .Ya hate to see it.
– On the flip side in round 2 we saw the fruits of our efforts being for others . The joy on cuzs face as 10 thrusters were taken off his shoulders. Knowing he would advance to help another . Goose even mumbled an apology for hitting another lighting in YHCs face (talk about progress! )
Wrapped with Mary – 1 round of crunchy frogs
COT and Cuz prayed us out
Had a blast this am fellas.
A physical reminder for YHC too lean fully on Gods limitless strength as we help those in need.
SYITG
PDox
Epilogue
…The year is 2062,
Your grandkids just got off the hovercraft school bus excited to tell you they have a retro virtual reality game called “ Mario Kart”.
They ask if you wanna play and promise to take it easy on you.
You longingly stare out the window as the pulse quickens.
You call down to the F3 nursing home to tell the staff you won’t be there for your evening rounds.
You tell the nurse “Jeaux needs his doo doo pills by 5pm, and if Ronnie gets on a heater he has a separate checking account. Mix Tanas meds with an abita or he won’t take them. Make sure Goose gets to explain paradox to his family visitors or he’ll get cranky . Stop by Cardinals room and drop off the new whoop version 74.0 and tell Cuz they put “prayers “ instead of “good luck “ on the school marquee so he’ll sleep better. “
“Tell them all I got a lesson to teach the 3.0s”
YHC grabs the VR headset, cracks his neck and takes a sip of a chilled Surge.
They never knew what hit em
