To the Men of F3 Thibodaux,
There are no words to accurately describe my level of gratitude for each of you. Whether we’ve been together for one beatdown or 50, you have taught me something, and each something has been invaluable. F3 has a term, “IM3,” which is a Man’s statement to the PAX that “I AM THIRD.” The idea of ‘living third’ means that as men, we deliberately place ourselves third behind God and our Community (including our families).
I know I speak for all of us that NO man makes this commitment with more force and humility than our very own Goose. He is an example, always constant in the storm as well as the gloom, reminding us why we’re doing this. Reminding us about what really matters.
I also know Goose would immediately say that ALL of us are worthy of the same praise. And I would agree. This is a very special group of men. You are Disciples of Christ, the spiritual leaders for your families. We often use the word, “humility” when describing our experiences together. There is a reason for this. We are, all of us, continually striving to “live third.”
In a past life when I was coaching high school baseball, I used to say that the scoreboard was a result, not the goal. Back then, it sounded so wise. Heck, I wasn’t much older than the teenagers to whom I was speaking. However, I am amazed how those words ring so very true for me today. I often forget that I am in the best shape of my life. It may have started as the goal, but it has become a casual byproduct of being blessed (truly blessed) to stand next to Men of honor, Men of substance, Men of God, Men like you.
Merry Christmas to each and each of you and your families.
May God grant us the courage to always strive to be third.
SYITG
Yankee Joe
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Warm-up 6:30 – 6:35
SSHs
Abe Vigodas (slow windmills)
Arm circles
Squats
Imperial Squat Walkers
Self Love
Mosey with coupons to monkey bars with coupons, then drop by slides
Tribute to Anker 6:35 – 6:42
0 – 1:00 ish – imperial walkers
1:00 – 1:45 ish – imperial squat walker
1:47 – 2:22 – SSH’s
2:23 – 3:00 – burpees
3:10 – 4:03 – elbow plank
4:04 – 5:28 – Bobby Hurleys
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Thang 1: Grinch Training Camp 6:45 – 7:00
(Narration #1)
Lazy Dora Style at the Monkey Bars
– P1 does Burp-ups x6
– P2 LBCs
– Flapjack
– Two sets
Mosey to hill
Roof Crawling
– P1 bear crawl to other side of hill; at bottom, 10 derkins; Crawl bear back over hill
– P2 flutter kicks
– Flapjack
– Jungle gym to slides, pick up coupons, head to Paxville
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Thang 2: The Looting of Paxville 7:00 – 7:15
(Narration #2)
House 1
– 3 sets
– P1 – WNW x10; P2 holds Al Gore’s
– Travel – Bears and Blocks
House 2
– 3 sets
– P1 Thrusters x 20; P2 6 inch holds
– Travel – Murder bunnies
House 3
– 3 sets
– P1 Manmakers x10; P2 Chilcutt Peter Parkers
– Travel – Lunges (no coupons)
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Thang 3: To the Grinch Cave on Top of Mount ‘Tana 7:15 – 7:20
– P1 carries P2 piggie back (coupons stay by House 3)
– Flapjack at cones; 4 segments, 2 each per Pax
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Thang 4: Paxmas came anyway 7:20 – 7:25
(Narration #3)
– Sprint back to Paxville
– Pax mosey to Flag and bring back to Paxville
– Goose returns presents to the Pax
COT; Cardinal prayed us out
Coffeeteria (courtesy of Mrs. Yankee Joe)
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BEATDOWN SCRIPT
Narration #1 How the Goose Stole Paxmas!
Every Pax down in Paxville liked Christmas a lot
But the Goose who lived just up the bayou, did not!
The Goose hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season!
Now, please don’t ask why. Only the Cardinal may know the reason.
It could be because he hated the cold.
It could be because, like his truck, he was too old.
But I think that the most likely reason of all
Was that his heart, like Paradox’s shorts, was two sizes too small.
But, whatever the reason, his heart or his arthritis ,
He stood there on Christmas Eve ISI-ing just to spite us.
He stared down from the Stage with a sour, head tilting view
At the warm lighted windows along the the Bayou.
For he knew every Pax down in Paxville below
Was busy posting obscure GIF’s, especially Yankee Joe.
He thought of Paradox and his wife she’s a doctor by the way
He himself claims to be one too, riiight…can crazy come out to play?
He thought of the drugs Montana be slingin’
And he shuddered at the cadence that he just ain’t bringin’.
The Goose remembered the Goats and some random machine
That dude showed up for a month, never again to be seen.
Wet Tap was doing goblet squats, cuz that’s what real men did
He never got the memo that the Jerfing had ended.
He thought of Lil’ Cuz and that head beyond balding
He then felt his own head fuzz and well…it was something.
He considered the Brat and his brother, O’SHEM
So close to yakking again and again.
Superfun(d) working his crazy ass shifts;
Fence Post nailing boards in a line and thinks it’s a gift.
The Grinchy Goose said good riddance to ‘Ol Paradiddle;
He’s a drummer, remember…F3 was fourth fiddle.
He tolerated Kilo and his twelve different ve-HICLES
He loathed Picadilly’s balls and their subsequent pickles.
Enron, he mused, seemed to be cursed
With his lack of rhythm and tendonitis he was constantly nursed.
But those are just the reasons, second and first
Ronnie also recruited Yankee Joe – aka EH Thibby Award for the worst.
Speaking of Yankee and his posts we should block
Forget the emotion, and just keep the headlock.
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Narration #2 The Looting of Paxville
“And they’re hanging their stockings,” Goose snarled with a sneer.
“Tomorrow is Christmas! It’s practically here!”
Then he growled, with his Goose fingers nervously drumming,
As he sat on the toilet nervously humming
At 40, you’re gonna have problems with plumbing.
Then he said, “I must find some way to keep Christmas from coming!
“For, tomorrow, I know that all the PAX men
Will wake bright and early and rush to their den.
“And then the GroupMe posts! Oh, the posts! posts! posts! posts!
There’s one thing I hate! It’s all the posts, posts posts!
“And they’ll mumble! And mumble! And they’ll chatter! Chatter! chatter!
And the more the Goose thought of this Pax Christmas Chatter,
The more the Goose thought,
“Is it me or am I slowly getting fatter?”
“Why for forty years I’ve put up with it now!
I must stop Christmas from coming! But how?”
Then he got an idea! An awful idea!
The Goose got a wonderful, condescending, head tilting idea!
“I know just what to do!” The Goose laughed with a frown.
“I’ll destroy all their dreams with a TuesdayTuff beatdown.”
“I’ll steal F3 Christmas, there’s no limit to how far I’ll stoop
I’ll even find a way to tear down that ridiculous, disgraceful Whoop.”
And he chuckled, and he honked,
“What a great Goosey trick!
With this TuesdayTuff Beatdown, I’ll look just like a prick!”
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Narration #3 To the Grinch Cave on Top of Mount ‘Tana
It was quarter of dawn. And the Pax still a-slumber,
Hangovers en route from Enron and Wet Tap’s Jucifer tumbler.
He took their presents, their headbands, and even their rucksacks,
He scoffed at their cadence, lame excuses and fartsacks!
Ten thousand feet up, up the side of Mount Tana
He ran like a wild man, he ran, ran, ranna
On some kind of drugs fueled by AstraZeneca manna.
“Pooh-pooh to the Pax!” he was goosily humming.
“They’re finding out now that no Christmas is coming!
“They’re just waking up! I know just how they’ll show!
They’ll lazily hit snooze one time, maye mo’
And They’ll kick and they’ll yell from ceiling to flo’
Then they’ll see there’s no Christmas, not even an AO.
“That’s a noise,” grinned the Grinch, “that I simply must hear!”
He paused, and the Grinch put a hand to his ear.
And he did hear a sound rising over the swamp.
It started out slow, then it started to stomp.
But this sound wasn’t sad!
Why, this sound sounded glad!
What was this incredible sound, sounding deep from the gut,
Well that’s Paradox’s favorite question, “Turn down for What?”
Every Pax down in Paxville, the tall and the small,
Was celebrating a Christmas beatdown – super tight shorts and all!
He hadn’t stopped Christmas from coming! It came!
Somehow or other, it came just the same!
(2.0 ear muffs) After having nine kids, he has only himself to blame.
And the Grinch, with his grinch feet paced to and fro,
Stood puzzling and puzzling. “How could it be so?
It came without coupons! It came without rucksacks!
It came without backblasts, without gloves, or World Cup facts!”
He honked and honked till his honker was sore.
Then the Goose thought of something he hadn’t before.
Maybe F3 doesn’t come from just beatdowns or a good backblast word.
Maybe F3, perhaps, means more, like striving to live third!
And what happened then? Well, in Paxville they say
That the Goose’s small heart grew three sizes that day!
From that day forth, Goose built out his legacy;
Teaching where we stand next to God and community
Tho his comments on GroupMe are never OMG,
his words for the Pax are always simply IM3.
Merry Christmas!
