Several days ago one of YHC’s 2.0’s observed what has become a nightly routine: walking the dog in the backyard while attempting 100 burpees. This is for our monthly PAX challenge (ISI: Make America Burpee Again). As 2.0s are known to do, YHCs daughter asked a deeply philosophical question “sooo why’s it called a burpee?”. YHC had no clue and was pushed into a deep rabbit hole dive of how our beloved exercise came to be. 6 wikipedia pages, 4 clickbait articles and 1 ad for headbands later YHC had unearthed an incredible tale. YHC knew the only path forward was to convert this into a beatdown to share with my Thibodaux brethren. If our Thibodaux Pax truly wanted to complete the Burptober challenge, then we needed to know the burpee inside and out. Know its function, feel its form and at the end of a 45 minute beatdown , be able to select burpee variations like fine wines. The lesson plan was set, the classroom prepped, and 5 PAX cut through the gloom of the Stage for a standard issue Paradoxian History lesson.
Warmup: The usual suspects SSH, Windmill, IW, AC, Self-Love with a little added mumble chatter from Goose about pre cadence variations but this was countered with a bumper mosey.
Thang 1
Royal Huddleston Burpee was born in 1897 in NY. He joined the Navy during the beginning of World War 1 and while aboard a navy ship for several months developed a knack for creating challenging body weight exercises one could accomplish in small spaces.
JBL played Drunken Sailor while PAX held plank with merkins on “Wayyyy Up” and “Drunken Sailor”. Of note: several Pax applauded JBLs ability to transport them mentally and emotionally into the scene of the music. This did not go over well with other bluetooth speaker providers but we wont name names. T-claps to JBL for rising above the chatter, I know you see those haters on every block, put on the Hater shades and don’t look back.
After his service in the war, Mr. Burpee continued to pursue his passion in exercise physiology, receiving a PHD from Columbia University in 1939. His doctoral thesis focused on several bodyweight exercises that could serve as health indicators for the average person. One of these was the Front Leaning Rest. What we know today as the burpee. Of note his original move did not include a push up or squat.
Pax completed 4 original burpees (no merkin or jump yet) with a sprint to the sidewalk followed by 19 bobby hurleys , 39 SSH and 4 more original burpees.
By 1942 the US military needed a fitness test to prepare young men heading into World War II. By this time the burpee had increased in popularity in local gyms and was the perfect fit for this exam. It was used as a marker of physical readiness if a solder could complete between 15-30 original burpees (no pushup or jump) in a 20 second period.
To honor this benchmark Pax completed amrap burpees in 20 seconds followed by Broad jump burpees , 20 WW2 sit-ups, and a another 20 second amrap burpee.
After WW2 the burpee cemented itself as the king of bodyweight workouts and the rest is history. The burpee variations flowed freely for decades and although its unknown when the merkin and jump were added, the original “front leaning rest” plus a merkin at the bottom and a jump at the top are the accepted regular burpee we know and love to hate.
Thang 2
Next exercise: Deconstructed burpees in 7 of diamonds format
Pax completed 7 squats, 14 thrusters, 21 merkins and 28 jump squats. This looked slightly easier on paper and YHC could feel the silent hatred as we reached 28 jump squats. Your quads will thank me later.
A few 10 counts later we commemorated the “millions of burpee variations”. YHC introduced some of the PAX to a little Burpeepalooza jam called Peaches by Presidents of the United States of America. Millions of Peaches…peaches for free. Completed 27 burpees.
Took the pax on a rich man’s loop mosey hike that involved a different 5 rep set of burpee variations on each light pole. We completed:
5 double merkin burpees- two merkins at the bottom of the burpee
5 double thrust burpees- two thrusts at the bottom
5 Bearpees- burpee and start 4 count bear crawl then finish jump
5 Bropees – double high five with a partner at the top of a burpee. Lets pause here for a breakdown…
**YHC took the solo role and watched the synchronized beauty that was Yankee and Cardinal perform a perfect tempo 5 bropees. This could be due to Cardinals priestly ability to meet anyone on there level but also theres an investigation into Yankee Joes weekend breakdancing career. Reports to follow.
In sharp contrast, Enron and Goose appear to be nearing couples counseling as they could not distinguish who was leading the tango. Was Goose still flustered from the JBL compliments?? Very likely. But YHC is putting this one in the “Enron has a scary lack of rhythm” file…. ….it’s a large file.
5 star jump burpees- burpee with star jump at the end
A nice mosey back to the flag for the finisher.
Only one way to finish this one.
You knew it was coming.
At the end of the day, the burpee is about getting knocked down and getting back up again.
We completed 16 burpees during Chumbawumba’s “ Tubthumping” and YHC called it at 6:15.
COT and Cardinal Prayed us out.
Great effort today men, we are well on our way to being fine connoisseurs of all things burpee.
Thank you to Dr. Royal H. Burpee for your service to our country and your great gift of the Burpee.
SYITG
Paradox
