As the PAX slowly trickled in at the Peltch on the morning of Holy Saturday, we tried to guess whose car was pulling in as soon as we could see the headlights down the road. But one car mystified us, even as it pulled to a stop in the parking lot–was it another one of Tighty Whitey’s FNG’s showing up nervously without him? Or, was it an overly excited little league coach coming to set up his dugout a few hours early? We were way off. White hair was the first thing to become clear in the gloom, and then a Run Cajun Run shirt–could it be? Yes!! It was Reluctant Yankee! I had the distinct pleasure of directing the following proclamation to the PAX, “Gentlemen, this is the founder of F3 NOLA, and today he has deigned to join us bayou PAX for our humble beatdown at The Peltch.” YHC would have preferred to have some trumpeters, a red carpet, and a scroll to read from, but all we had was Coyote, my 10-year-old 2.0, who rattled off as many F3 terms as he could think of (“fartsack” came up multiple times).
Ultimately, 12 PAX, including an FNG, were present as we commenced a Holy Saturday themed beatdown.
Warmup: SSH, WM, AC, Cherry Pickers, IW, high knees, butt kicks
Thang 1:
Moseyed to the Thunderdome for a Flora 1, 2, 3 and a couple of songs. The theme was uncomfortable waiting–Jesus is lying dead in a dark, stone tomb, and we’re waiting with him.
Partnered up for the Flora (waiting in uncomfortable positions while your partner completes his reps):
1. Partners split 100 dips, each does 10 at a time while the other holds dip position (down).
2. 200 air presses in people’s chair against the columns, 20 at a time while other holds chair position.
3. 300 flutter kicks, 30 at a time while other holds legs six inches off the ground.
Song 1: “While I’m Waiting” by John Waller–held plank for the duration (almost 5 min.) and 3 mountain climbers (2:1) every time he said “Waiting” (90 mountain climbers total). YHC’s calves are still sore.
Song 2: “The Final Countdown” by Europe–side straddle hops for the duration (over 5 min.) and three Bonnie Blairs (1:1) for every “Final Countdown” (over 50 total).
Thang 2: Empty Tomb
When the disciples saw/heard the tomb was empty, the waiting/difficulty wasn’t immediately relieved. There were questions, confusion, running, freaking out, etc. So, the PAX lined up at the first of three cones and completed 20 Chinooks (arm circles over the head) to represent the women freaking out and telling the disciples the tomb was empty, and then sprinted to the second cone to represent to apostles running to the tomb, and then army crawled from there to the third cone (crawling into the tomb to check it out).
Repeated this 5 times (and gained some souvenir brush burns in the process).
Then, all PAX ran backward to the last cone and back followed by carioca to the last cone and back.
Then, partnered up and PAX 1 ran backward from the first cone to the third, and PAX 2 sprinted to try to catch him once he reached the second cone (like Peter trying to catch up with John). Flapjack and then rinse and repeat.
Indian Run around the park gave YHC a chance to chatter with Yankee a bit about F3 leadership, followed by some substantial Mary at the flag. Tried to include 10 Absolutions, a somewhat complicated 8-count plank exercise, which failed miserably, leading to the obvious lesson that absolution (cleansing from sin) can’t be earned. Other exercises were crunchy frogs, wife pleasers, leg raises, and a couple of other things, I think.
Count off, name off, and named our FNG Neanderthal–welcome!! Announcements included a push to hop in the clown car headed to the Northshore for the Zoorich Classic this Saturday, and Kilo prayed us out. Thanks, gents, for letting me lead, and huge thanks to Reluctant Yankee for the surprise visit!
SYITG,
Goose
