Conditions
Heavy Rain, 58 F, Feels like 58 F, Humidity 96%, Wind 15 mph from NW
The Thang
0515
Me: Good morning Jim.
Cantore: What are those? I thought we were running.
Me: Kuch calls them my Mandals. They are a pair of overpriced flip flops with a fatal design flaw. I duct taped them, so we should be good this morning. What is that you are wearing?
Cantore: Gortex…HERE WE ARE ON THE FRONT PORCH OF CRAIG PARTEN, KNOWN TO HIS F3 BROTHERS AS HAWGCYCLE.
Me: Why are you yelling? You’re going to wake my kid.
Cantore: CAN’T HELP IT. I’M EXCITED. EVERY THURSDAY THE HEARTIEST SOULS IN THE NEW ORLEANS REGION MEET AT PONTIFF PARK, RAIN OR SHINE, FOR WHAT THEY CALL THE WALLY RUN. IT’S A 4+ MILE JOG THROUGH THE AFFLUENT SUBURBAN STREETS OF THE OM.
Me: Let’s go before you wake the neighborhood.
0525
Cantore: THE RAIN IS REALLY COMING DOWN. THIS IS CERTAINLY A MULTI CELL CLUSTER AND WE ARE BEING POUNDED BY ONE OF THE STRONGER CELLS AT THE MOMENT.
Me: We are a little early and I’d rather not stand around by ourselves in the rain. Let’s jog round the parking lot then run by the pumps to see if they are on.
Cantore: THE PUMPS WILL PROVIDE AN AMAZING CAMERA SHOT.
Me: …
0530
Cantore: ARE YOU SURE THIS IS WHERE EVERYONE MEETS?
Me: This is it. I expected to see everyone running out of their cars to meet us, but I don’t see any cars.
Cantore: ARE THEY SKIPPING THE RUN BECAUSE OF THIS MODERATE MULTI CELL CLUSTER THAT IS MOVING THROUGH THE AREA?
Me: No. No way. Not these guys. These guys can handle a little rain. It’s got to be something else. Boo Boo has to go in early to work sometimes. Hobbs has a trial going on, so he probably had to head to work early. It’s possible the rapture happened, that would explain Rev Sox and War Eagle not being here. Pai Gow obviously has an addiction to Asian games of chance, so he might be at the Treasure Chest. Last time I saw Triple Shift he was Tuesday at City Park. He was talking to SFx about home schooling, vaccinations, and proper squat form…there is a chance he still there. Tua’s wife just had twins, so I he’ll be out for the next 18 years. Fracsac randomly moves to the Westbank every now and then. I fully expect Jingle Vader is sporting a tank top at Okwata as we speak. Two Yutes has some issues when it comes to dirt, so I’m guessing the debris in the rainwater might keep him away.
Flashback to Monday at work.
Me: What’s up Jeff? Why are you throwing your shoelace in the trash?
Two Yutes: It came untied and part of it touched the bathroom floor. Can’t have that.
Me: Where’s your belt?
Two Yutes: It touched the outside of the urinal.
Me: …
Back to Pontiff
Me: There’s Mahatma, but he told me to my face that he hates running with me. I respect his honesty. Rudy….hmmmm…I don’t even know where to start.
Cantore: SO IT’S JUST US?
Me: Yeah, sorry. We should have gone to Okwata. They usually have 20-30 guys post there. I’m sure this morning will be epic. Do you want to go home?
Cantore: ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I LIVE FOR THIS. LET’S GO.
0537
Cantore: WHAT’S THAT HOOLIGAN DOING?
Me: I think he is just a teacher at Country Day going to work.
Cantore: GET BEHIND ME. IF HE TRIES ANY FUNNY BUSINESS I’LL NINJA KICK HIM.
Me: I think we’re fine.
Cantore: EXCUSE ME SIR. WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THIS TORRENTIAL DOWNPOUR?
Country Day Teacher: I’m heading into work early. I have to prepare my Chemistry Lab.
Cantore: WILL THE SCHOOLS NOT BE CANCELLED TODAY. THERE IS A MODERATE MULTI CELL CLUSTER THUNDERSTORM IN THE AREA.
Country Day Teacher: I certainly hope not. Today my students are scheduled to turn in their group project. They will be using tribal African Dance to explain the exothermic reaction produced by mixing Sodium Hydroxide and Sulfuric Acid.
(Cantore knees him in the groin and we continue on our way.)
0545
Cantore: LOOK AT THE PLYWOOD ON THAT COFFEE SHOP. EXCELLENT PREPARATION. YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN ONE OF THESE SLIGHTLY LESS THAN MODERATE CELLS FROM THE CLUSTER MIGHT MOVE THROUGH.
Me: A car ran into it. It’s been like that for weeks.
CANTORE: THAT’S NOT PREPARATION FOR THIS STORM?
Me: Sorry to disappoint.
0555
Cantore: THESE HOUSES ARE HUGE. WHAT DO ALL OF THESE PEOPLE DO FOR A LIVING?
Me: Amass debt, I assume.
0600
Cantore: WHERE ARE WE GOING? THIS IS NOT ON THE MAP YOU GAVE ME.
Me: Some extra distance. I’m calling it the Lagniappe Loop.
Cantore: WHAT’S LAGNIAPPE?
Me: I don’t know. I hear people say it a lot. I like alliteration.
0610
Cantore: ARE YOUR NIPPLES ON FIRE?!?
Me: Yes.
0620
Cantore: I THOUGHT THIS ENDED AT 6:15.
Me: Normally, but this is Run Ranger Run and some kid on the Northshore has been running continuously for the last 5 days. We have to catch him.
0630
Cantore: IT WAS A PLEASURE RUNNING WITH THE MEN….ER, ONE MAN OF F3 NEW ORLEANS THIS MORNING. REPORTING FROM GROUND ZERO OF THE MODERATE MULTI CELL CLUSTER STORM WE HAVE UNECCESARILY NAMED WALLY, THIS IS JIM CANTORE SIGNING OFF.
Me: Bye Jim.
