Being an F3 Nation member for only 10 months (last race I was nothin but a gleam in a Hawg’s eye), the Gnarly Nutria was the stuff of legend. A back and forth sporting event like the world has not witnessed since Ali vs. Frazier. Two heavyweights going toe to toe for 5.4 miles with the Uptowners dominating Gnarly Nutria I and The World squeaking by with a narrow victory in Gnarly Nutria II.
This year The World looked to overwhelm the smug Uptowners with numbers, and we have been recruiting. I was even dreaming of running the first race of my life but fell to the wayside with a calf injury on Friday. Although The World would now be missing their best runner, they still persevered and began the race with a distinct advantage in numbers.
Following an epic lightning storm, the race began at 9:10pm. Our first finishers were a family group, and hat’s off to Sandbar who brought two of his 2.0s who finished the first lap in solid time.
I knew the Uptowners were going to be in trouble when the first runners to not complete all three laps were Uptowners. Then the top two finishers of all three laps were both from the World and the landslide began. Like an over-the-hill Frazier against Ali, the Uptowners were no match for The World in Gnarly Nutria III.
The final score was 446 The World and 354 Uptowners. The World is so fast, we turned off the lights in our bedrooms when we got home last night and we were in bed before the room was dark.
We welcomed 4 FNGs into our numbers in the largest sweaty ball of man I have ever seen. I got to hand it to the runners, the names for our new members were great. We welcome Tubbs, Tramp Stamp, Right Cheek and his brother Left Cheek to F3. May we forget your real names and always refer to you by your F3 names in public.
Here are your Gnarly Nutria top finishers:
1. Smooth – The World
2. Turbo Tax – The World
3. Pony Boy – Uptowner
4. El Guapo – The World
5. Mulligan – Uptowner
6. End Time – The World
7. YSR – Uptowner
8. Swampcock – Uptowner
9. Cavalier – Uptowner
10. Mahatma-Ice – The World
11. Right Cheek – The World
12. Nip/Tuck – Uptowner
13. Jadaveon – Uptowner
14. Cowbell – The World
15. Hawgcycle – The World
16. Thighs – The World
17. Freedo – Uptowner
18. Cornbread – The World
19. El Wire – Uptowner
20. Mariah – Uptowner
21. Rudy – The World
22. Rocket – The World
23. Peppa – Uptowner
24. Saban – Uptowner
25. Tubba – The World
26. Tramp stamp – The World
27. Bubba – The World
28. Shorty – The World
29. Brownbag – Uptowner
30. Landing Strip – Uptowner
Left cheek, Bad Moon, Two Yutes, Shooter, Bushwacker, Einstein, 86, Pi, Walleye, King Kong, Triple Shift, Reluctant Yankee, and Roots fell just outside the top 30 in this order. I couldn’t keep up with the names after Roots. Congrats to all who finished and all who completed 1 or 2 laps. Thank you for helping us all be better men as we do stupid, pointless things like run for no reason in the middle of a lightning storm while chased by Jaguars.
I’m inviting you to our next AO at “the Boxing Match” sculpture in Kenner’s Rivertown. The first Wednesday of September will be the launch of the F3 NOLA “Fight Club.”
Your Humble Scorekeeper (I don’t plan on doing this next year, so someone else better get hurt right before the race in 2019),
RevSox
Great recap of a fun evening!
Keith Slow HOKIE Pokey Kreuer