The opportunity to Q The Birdcage the morning of the Gnarly Nutria presented itself yesterday and I jumped at it. Immediately, I started brainstorming my Kamikaze Q – come in hard and heavy, destroy my legs, but take out as many Uptowners along the way as possible. What would I do? 45 minutes of Monkey Humpers? Run 3 laps around Audubon? Sprint-o-rama? Boo-boo bear crawls? Quadraphilia? F3 provides lots of good leg breaking choices. Unfortunately, my plan would be contingent on me being im better shape then these guys and that is unfortunately not the case. Kamikazes can’t do much good if they don’t have the power to destroy their target. It’s like a sacrifice bunt with two outs (which may have been a more apt name for this backblast). In the end, I chose a path I could finish, at least almost.
100 Burpee Warm-Up
- 20 burpees
- 20 Hillbillies, 15 Windmills, 15 Good Mornings
- Burpees EMOM: 12, 12, 12,12, 10, 10
- Parker Peter x 20, Monkey Humpers x 20, Daft Punk? x 28
- 12 Burpees
The Thang
We moseyed aimlessly, as I was hoping to get everyone’s shoes sufficiently wet and slightly heavier. Once I realized I couldn’t break them, this became my best opportunity for sabotage. We ended up at the shelter for some Red Hot Chili Pepper.
- 8 Bulgarian Split Leg Lunges with the right leg, 16 Derkins, 8 Bulgarian Split Leg Lunges with the left leg, 16 Irkins
- 6 BSLLRL, 6 Derkins, 6 BSLLLL, 6 Irkins, (G Spot disappears?)
- 4….
- 2….
We then moseyed about 50 feet to open area for our last chance at some celebratory 3-6-3 exercises. 3 Super Slow Cadence reps, holding position at the end. Then 6 regular cadence reps, holding position at the end. Ending with 3 more super slow cadence reps. We did squats, monkey humpers, merkins, right leg lunges, and left leg lunges.
Mariah took over and finished us off with some Mary. Hello Dolly x 25 followed by Flutter Kicks x 25 (feet don’t touch the ground), Freddie Mercuries x 25, oblique crunches (each side) x 25, and a Protractor (15, 45, 90, 45, 2, 15, 45)
Back to the shovel flag, naming our FNG, and closing it out with a prayer
NMM
- I had good intentions, but I can’t say the mission was successful. I’m going to need back up next year.
- Perhaps I knocked out G-Spot, but that seems highly unlikely, seeing as he wears a weighted vest and was Larry Birding me the last time I Q’d. His schedule is tight and he always leaves prior to the COT. This time he left much earlier. Yankee said it’s the first time someone’s gone AWOL Uptown. I’m taking that as a compliment, although I’m pretty sure it wasn’t.
- We didn’t run much today. Some may think it’s because we have the Gnarly Nutria tonight, but I ain’t going to lie: Being this close to the zoo, I had every intention of staying close to our cars.
- FNG Ocho Cinco is from Cincinnati. He couldn’t be Ocho Seis, cause we got one of those.
- Speaking of, Happy Birthday to the aforementioned Ocho Seis.
- I’m over three years in and still can’t do a complete Red Hot Chili Pepper. It’s a goal.
- Looking forward to tonight. Here’s to having fun and World Domination.
