El Guapo: When Hawg sent the message on GroupMe last night that we would be playing Rarajipari at the Stomp, I knew I had to be there. I’m running the Blue Ridge Relay in September and I’m taking every opportunity that I can to train. I also thought it would be a good opportunity to see how Hawg’s training is going. Truthfully, I’ve been a little concerned. He set up a June challenge for us on MapMyRun. They idea was to run at least 70 miles in the month of June. 86 and Swampcock are already over a hundred. Everyone else on the team is around 50-60. Hawg has run…..11. Eleven miles. that’s about a third of a mile per day. A third of a mile per day. He also looks a little overweight. Well, maybe more than a little. I’m not sure he’s training.
Rudy: You have met Hawg right? What about him made you think he knows what training is? I didn’t even know he was still doing F3.
Da Parish: Hawg made a burpee bet with me on the LSU – Arkansas series this year and then went double or nothing on the SEC tourney. He owes me 66 burpees at the Mothership, and I haven’t seen him since.
Hawg: I got a lot of family commitments.
Stubhub: Now that school is out, I’m glad to be back to working out with the guys. I’ve been back for a while, but Hawg kept making a big deal about my “kotter” today. I just let him go on and didn’t say anything. My kotter was a month ago. I’m not sure the last time he posted. When he taught my girls in high school my wife and I used to talk about how we weren’t real sure he knew what he was doing. Seeing him operate at F3….my opinion hasn’t really changed.
Bongo: “We gotta get out while we’re young, ‘Cause tramps like us, baby we were born to run..”
Triple Shift: Hawg pulls up, at 5:30 mind you, with a couple of baseballs. We are supposed to be playing Rarajipari. They actually make balls for that, but he’s going to use baseballs. What kind of Mickey Mouse operation is this?
Stubhub: So as soon as we take off, my calf starts acting up again. I injured it last week. Let’s see…what was I doing when I injured it? Oh yeah, I was at an F3 workout.
Hawg: So Stubhub pulls up lame right out of the gate. I felt so bad for him. His first day back in a year and that happens.
Stubhub: ….
Cornbread: T-claps to Stubhub. He stuck around and got some work in and met us for the COT. A lesser man would have gone home.
Tool: I was excited about the team I was assigned to – Me, T-Shift, Rudy, and El Guapo. We are all strong runners and I can get to Laborde Mountain in my sleep. I’ve actually done it a couple of times after one of our block parties. At least, I think that’s how I got there.
El Guapo: We came out of the gate with the early lead, but we start to hear heavy breathing around Diagonal Ave. We knew JV was out of town, so it had to be Hawg.
Tool: Things were going well, until Diagonal Ave. Rudy and El Guapo must have gotten spooked and they took off….fast. As Cornbread caught up to me and Triple, I could see Rudy and El Guapo crossing Harrison. They were heading into the Couturie Forest using the path on the right. Ironic as it is, the path on the right is wrong, but they were too far gone to hear me.
Da Parish: Our team entered the Couturie Forest with Tool and Triple, but Rudy and El Guapo were already in there. Laborde Mountain is only few hundred yards or so. Having gone to Nichols, I’m familiar with losing and this had loss written all over it.
Cornbread: So kicking this baseball down the street is pretty easy, but once you get into the woods it gets a lot harder. That’s when Hawg tells me and Da Parish, “I’ll run ahead and make sure we are going the right way. You guys take care of the ball.” …. Thanks Hawg.
Da Parish: We got to the top of Laborde Mountain and there was not a Rudy or El Guapo in sight. We won! I knew those Basin Runs would pay off. Have I ever mentioned that there’s a run every Thursday night at The Basin?
Hawgcycle: Given the ISI this month, I thought we would do some merkins while we waited for the other team to straggle in. Knowing that Triple Shift was there, I counted the cadence very slowly, making sure everyone had time to do them in perfect form.
Tool: Bongo and I split up to look for Rudy and El Guapo, hoping to find them in time to still win. When we got to the top, the other team was there. Wait, where’s Bongo?
Bongo: “All by myself, Don’t want to be, all by myself…anymore. All by myself, Don’t want to be….
Triple Shift: So Hawg finishes the merkins and proudly exclaims “That’s 50 more toward this month’s challenge.” If he has done the rest of his merkins the way he did those 50…. I’d say he’s done…..zero merkins this month.
Tool: Hey guys – we need to go get Bongo. No man left behind
All: No Man left behind!
Stubhub: ….
Cornbread: Unfortunately finding your way back from Laborde Mountain is easier than finding your way there, even for Rudy.
Hawg: We had lost sight of El Guapo and Rudy, by the time we passed the Foundry.
Rudy: I lost sight of El Guapo by the time I passed the Foundry.
El Guapo: Okay. I’m certain Hawg’s not training.
Nicholls*