On a Friday morning with perfect temps and dry conditions, we started on what I hoped would be the greatest, most spiritual F3 workout of all time. It was time for Rev Sox to emphasize the Rev in his name and throw imprecatory curses on the Sox.
To give this exercise greater spiritual significance we warmed up with:
SSH x24
IW x 24
PlankJacks x 12
Hillbillies x 24
I am preaching on the First Communion this Sunday at Grace Community Bible Church in River Ridge (gcbcrr.org) at 10am. Since I was meditating on Communion and the Passover, I themed our workout around the Passover story in Exodus. The story begins with 400 years of slavery in Egypt as the children of Israel made bricks for generations, so we grabbed our rocks and made bricks.
Making Bricks
While carrying our precious rocks, we slowly made our way across one of the Pontiff fields by dropping down to our knees and rising back up followed by one lunge on each leg and repeated until we crossed the field.
The Ten Plagues
We did a series of 10 exercises. 10 reps each time and we never put down our rocks between sets to picture the 10 plagues that God sent on Egypt to rescue the Israelites.
10 Shoulder presses
10 Curls
10 rows
10 low slow squats
Repeat all 4
10 bench presses
For the 10th and final plague, we painted the doorposts of our homes to protect our families from the angel of the death. The rock was the paintbrush. Starting position was holding the rock by your right foot, the rock was lifted straight up above the right shoulder, moved over the head to above the left shoulder, and slowly brought down to the left foot. The rock was brought back to the right foot for one rep. We painted 10 doorposts (we are friendly Israelites).
Wandering to the Red Sea
Following the plagues, Pharaoh sent us out of Egypt. Like the Israelites, we wandered around the desert on our way to the Red Sea. We walked around the bases of two baseball fields while holding our rocks. A few times everyone was instructed to lift their rocks above their heads as Abacus and Hawg serenaded us with In Your Eyes.
Waiting for the Water to Part
We went to the fence and took a seat on the fence to remember how God parted the Red Sea as the Israelites watched in awe. We did two sets of 10 curls while seated against the fence as we gathered our belongings to go across the Red Sea.
Mary to Freedom
This is where I ran into trouble. I thought the 10 plagues was going to take longer than it did, so we had a little extra time. My story got kind of forgotten as I struggled to think of Marys to finish the workout.
Penguins x 20
Big Boy Situps x 20
10 Burpees
10 Burpees
LBCs x 20
Here I was planning on sharing that the Egyptians ran in after the Red Sea but the water came in top of them. They tried to flutter kick their way to the other side, but their armor weighed them down and they became dying cockroaches. (I forgot this part of the story in my panic to think of things to get everyone to 6:15)
FlutterKicks x 16
Dying Cockroaches x 20
Russian Twists x 20
Oh Dolly x 20
We counted off, shared our names, and named an FNG (Max) Mani-Pedi. Thanks for allowing me the opportunity to fly my Bible nerd flag. It was awesome.
