Cinemassacre

Little did the PAX know, but they were going to more than just a workout in this morning’s gloom. No; they were also going to a premiere. A premiere that may have been more appropriate to be wearing a tux then some gym shorts. Today was the premiere… of the Cinemassacre workout.

Every exercise in today’s workout would be based on or related in some way to a movie, including one that was created by the QIC as well. Too bad we couldn’t have had the movie man himself give his opinion (we all missed ya Steve). And to make it even more special, there was a rare sighting that can only be summarized with this line:

“It’s a bird…It’s a plane… No! It’s Collard Greens!!!”

That’s right! Mr. Shoulders himself returned and it was actually him (along with Turbo) who correctly identified the theme of today’s workout. Welcome back man!!!

Without further ado, let’s get to the beatdown.

(I hope you have your popcorn ready)

Warmup:

Smurf Jacks: 15 IC

Imperial Walkers (Star Wars): 20 IC

“The Mummy” Kicks: 20 IC

Don Quixotes (Windmills): 15 IC

Peter Parker Peter (Spiderman): 10 IC

Frankenstein’s: 15 IC

Daniel-Son (The Karate Kid): Assume the Karate Kid crane kick position. Alternate legs in quick succession. “If do right, none can defend.” 10 reps OYO

The Thang:

Turbo kept asking me why I kept messing with my bag. It reminded me of another scene from a movie..

“What’s in the box bag! WHAT’S IN THE BOX BAG!!!”

The item in my bag was none other than what would be the “score” of today’s cinematic adventures. My phone plugged into the speaker in my bag would serve as both as an accompaniment to our exercises, but sometimes also as the decider of what our workouts would be. The first song would fall into the latter category.

The first song came on to break the silence and fill us in on our first “scene”. It was the Rocky theme song!!! So we did Rocky Balboas on the stairs until the song finished (I can feel us “getting stronger” every day gentleman!).

The next song faded up to let us know that we would be doing some moseying. That of course was the iconic “Chariots  of Fire” theme! The running felt inspired and before we knew it we were all at the school board with the song still driving us on. So how about another lap around the building everyone!? The PAX obliged and we finished the lap just as the song was fading out.

The next exercise was the “Moon”… Wait, I hear a voice.. Ben Kenobi?! What’s that? It’s no moon? It’s a death star?!?!

Death Star: We 5et 5 points/cones out in shape of star. Bear Crawl to each cone and perform 25 each of merkins and LBCs rotating. Plank until everyone makes it around.

Way to go guys! We all conquered that death star. All we had to do was use a little “force”…

The Chariots of Fire theme once again rose from the ashes of the smoldering Death Star and we moseyed to the second ramp of the parking garage. If you haven’t already gathered from what we’ve done so far, with this workout “you never know what you’re gonna get!”

Forrest Gump strolled in and introduced us to his good friend “Lt. Dan”. The only thing is that Lt. Dan “ain’t got no legs”. And neither were we in a minute. Lt. Dans up the ramp to 10 and then sprint the rest.

After that we made our way to the far divider at the top of the parking garage where Tom Hanks was making a back to back appearance. The next exercise was “Catch me If You Can”.

Catch Me If You Can: Start with two partners. Partner 1 performs 3 Burpees and then sprints to catch Partner 2 who has been running backwards around the divider at the top of the parking garage. Once caught, the two switch roles and the first partner now runs backwards while partner 2 does 3 burpees and chases partner 1. Continue this process until the team completes 2 full laps.

This was a quad burner (especially if one determines to try to beat his partner backpedaling for an entire lap… Sorry Shooter).

The workout was winding down in time, but it was building towards something else as well. And the PAX felt its imminent arrival. A looming finale that was hinted at only slightly by the ever increasing grin of the QIC who had “seen the end of this movie before”. A finale which the QIC had watched the night before in the midnight showing. In fact, he directed it himself. An exercise that will have you seeing things “not of this world.” But I know one thing is certain, once you finish this exercise, I know “Who you’re gonna call?”…

I’d like to introduce everyone to… Gut-busters!!!

Gut-Busters: Everyone starts in and holds a plank during the Ghostbusters song. Every time they say “Ghost Busters” you complete a burpee [20 burpees total (11 in last 55 seconds)]. In the “I ain’t afraid of no ghosts” sections do plank jacks in rhythm (16 for each section. 64 total). Way to push everyone on Captain Sparkles! Bustin’ makes everyone feel good!!!!

We moseyed/limped back to the flag with the Chariots theme once more.

Normal closing procedures issued.

I had such a blast creating and participating in this workout with you guys! Thanks for indulging my nerdy ways.

May the force be with you… always!

 

Roll Credits…