It was a chilly morning, and YHC was still filled with the Christmas spirit on this sixth day of Christmas. There may have only been one Goose-a-laying, but there were 16 PAX who gathered late in the gloom, including a brave FNG and his 2.0.
After the disclaimer, warmups were quiet as they typically are without Dox, though Enron bared the InVESTment early, giving hope to the thicker PAX that the zipper might be zippable after all. There was no short-changing on reps or exercises as YHC needed some serious motion-lotion after this PAST week’s Dox/YJ leg destruction combo.
All grabbed coupons and Duke grabbed YJ’s Goose-Grinch head-on-a-stick and we headed to The Chimney, which is always much farther than it should be. The head was planted in the permafrost with much effort and YHC revealed the theme: the 12 Days of Christmas/Fitmas, to be performed in traditional F3 style. YHC tried to focus on the great gift of getting to really dig into Christmas for an entire two weeks, but most of the PAX just heard “ascending ladder of ridiculousness”.
The routine went like this: YHC would reveal the exercise of each ascending day and write it on the back of the Goose-Grinch head (couldn’t find the marker board or anything that would stand up in an open field). Each new day’s exercise would then be added to the previous in ascending ladder style. This meant we started with Day 1, then did Day 2 and Day 1, all the way until Day 12 through Day 1 (or almost). Here’s the list of exercises:
1 Bear crawl to the chimney (about 20 yards, sung by all the PAX in unison with gusto, or maybe just Duke and Jack-knife)
2 Diamond Merkins
3 Jump Squats
4 WW3 Situps
5 8-count Manmakers
6 Freddys Mercurying (4-count)
7 Triceps extending
8 coupons curling
9 Bonnies Blairing
10 Peter Parkers Merkining
11 J-Lo’s hipping
12’s (a set of 12’s with burpees at the head and genuflections at the chimney; run there, nur back)
Even before the 12’s were introduced, one of the PAX, who shall remain nameless, suggested that the 9th day should be changed to “9 legs kicking Goose’s crotch”, and though Duke tried to comply, the Bonnies continued Blairing and order was restored.
There was one incident wherein YJ, the ever-vigilant form policeman/expert, concerned for the health and joint strain potential of the clydesdales on the far side of the group, came over and joined them to watch to see if there speed was a result of poor form. Turns out, it wasn’t, and he finished that set faster than he had originally thought possible because he was keeping up with the guys around him. Another proof of the strange psycho-physical dymamics at work in the mind of man and further confirmation of the massive value of F3. YJ quickly took up his former position after that set.
YHC’s singing of the entire list after announcing each new day’s “gift” gave the PAX a solid break between sets, and so it wasn’t until the 12th Day was revealed that mutiny again threatened to prevail. A rousing speech about squeezing every last drop of Christmas wonder out the season up to the very last minute of the 12th day was heard by the PAX as, “Here’s something really stupid since you’re already worn out and hoping it was almost over.” Anger and scheming were brewing as YHC explained that the 12th day would be a set of 12’s including burpees and genuflections. Thankfully, concern for the health of the fading FNG diverted their attention long enough for YHC to shout “On your own, begin!” And, they did. Incredibly, they did. And they didn’t stop until YHC had to call it for time.
Encouraging words were given by many to the FNG as we gathered our coupons and layers of winter clothing for the long mosey back to the flag. The last minute was filled with a high plank before count-off, name-off and FNG naming ceremony. Dean Roy (10) was named jack-knife due to his cache of pocket knives and other weapons, and Daryl Roy (38) was named Maneater despite the many interesting facts and unique traits that he shared. His first name, Daryl, is shared with Daryl Hall of Hall and Oates, the duo who sing “Maneater”, and, most importantly, he winced at the suggestion, which solidified his new identity.
Enron inVESTed YJ with The InVESTment for his foray into more challenging waters, even if for one set, and even if it was in an effort to try to blow the whistle on someone sacrificing form for speed. Motivation is motivation, I guess.
Announcements: New Year’s Day is Monday, and a beatdown at The Stage is the perfect way to start 2024 (at the regular time!). It’s also a great day to start Exodus 90 with a solid number of this awesome PAX. For those still on the fence, the first meeting is Friday, 5:30am at St. Thomas if you want to check it out.
Lil’ Cuz prayed us out, and the PAX basked for a while in the glory of shared suffering well earned. Grateful for such an awesome, hard-working, strong-hearted crew!
SYITG,
Goose
