YHC was looking forward to some quality time with Yankee Joe and Enron this morning, but not to the beatdown itself. It was decided late last night that we’d be reaching back a couple of years to YHC’s most memorable experience of a 12 Days of Christmas beatdown. It was 2020, and YHC was still getting worked over solo in my driveway by the likes of Steve, Hawg, Catfish, etc. via backblasts from stuff they had done the day before. This one particular beatdown stuck in my memory because it was so brutal (per usual), so anytime the opportunity for a 12 Days of Christmas/Fitmas comes up, this one’s unfortunately on the forefront so I had to get it out. I figured these two HIMs would be up for it.
After a warmup of the usuals with some mountain climbers (pre-burpees) and some intense self-loves (pre-merkin overload), YHC explained the particular character of Steve (Northshore PAX) and his beatdowns. Steve is extremely humble and cheerful, and he genuinely cares about the men he’s leading, but his beatdowns are notorious for how sneakily they completely destroy you. Every time. This morning would be no different.
Per the usual 12 Days of Christmas style, we started with Day 1’s exercise and then added each additional day in cumulative fashion. Here’s the list:
* Day 1: 1x Burpee
* Day 2: 2x Merkins
* Day 3: 3x Triple Jump Squat Burpees
* Day 4: 4x Monkey Humpers (4-count, IC)
* Day 5: 5x Sister Mary Katherine’s (2 is 1)
* Day 6: 6x Triple Merkin Burpees
* Day 7: 7x Sit-Ups
* Day 8: 8x T-Merkins
* Day 9: 9x Groiners
* Day 10: 10x Crunchy Frogs (4-count, IC)
* Day 11: 11x Freak Nasties (4-count, IC)
* Day 12: 12x Derkins
The sneakiness comes in the fact that the first four or five seem somewhat doable and fun, but after the sixth is added and each PAX begins to realize how many times we actually have to go through this list, panic begins to set in: Are we really going to make it to 12 days? How many times can I actually do 6 triple-merkin burpees without completely giving out? Is the Q going to give more than one 10-count between days? How can I hide if there are only three PAX here? Is this punishment for patting myself on the back this past week for being “really in shape”? Is Steve a real person? Is Goose a real person? Am I a real person? Does pain ever really end? Have I ever really been happy? Do my family and friends know that I’m just a little boy inside trying to survive? Which would win in a fight, a polar bear or a grizzly bear? Why are there so many baking competition shows? Why do I have nipples?
After pushing through what felt like an impossible twelfth day, we took a couple of ten counts before moseying to the Stop sign and back and completing seven minutes of Mary. This included flutter kicks, wife pleasers, hello dollies, Freddy Mercuries, dying cockroaches, The Alphabet, and LBC’s (oscillated between upper abs and lower abs).
COT and Enron prayed us out. It was a gift to be pushed so hard with these men. Thanks for seeing the value in it, fellas!
SYITG,
Goose
